TINDER
Possibly the most used dating app amongst the youth. Even stand up comedian Kenny Sebastian is on it!
The interface is simple and user-friendly. Tinder is synced with Facebook, so you can have a look at your common connections and common interests other than just reading his or her bio. If you like a potential mate, swipe right or else left. If you really like someone, you can ‘Super Like’ them and they will come to know right away. If both parties like each other, then they’ll receive the ‘it’s a match’ notification and you can start messaging them. You can unmatch them at your will too.
In-app purchases allow you to buy more ‘Super Likes’, for the person you like, ‘Rewinds’ that can bring back the last profile so you can change that accidental reject, and finally ‘Boosts’ that puts your profile on top of the pile for half an hour, which often increases the likelihood of matches.
POPULAR DATING APPS IN INDIA...
TrulyMadly
Ranking second on the list of dating apps is TrulyMadly. What makes it special? The fact that it allows you to add a video to jazz up your bio and even goes on to protect your pictures from the creeps who have mastered the art of taking screenshots. The ‘Trust Score’ feature puts all your doubts to rest — here an individual has a higher rating if they verify their mail, phone number and other social media accounts. Because, #safetyfirst. The ‘Quizzes’ feature will let you ask simple questions to get to know your potential match better.
WOO
This app offers an unique feature for the dating forum — anonymity. Woo grants you the power to like or dislike other profiles without revealing your identity. The app offers you a better success rate of meeting your potential partner with a new feature called ‘Tag Search’. The user can search for partners who have used similar hashtags. A ‘match’ opens a private chat room with stickers and emoticons to express yourself and to get to know your potential beau better. But beware of the creepers!
...and the UK
Bumble
Bumble operates on exactly the same premise as Tinder, with a few minor aesthetic changes. But the main difference is that when you match with someone, only the girl can message first and they have 24 hours to do it or you lose them forever. Crazy right? It discourages creepy guy messages but then women barely ever message first on this app!
Happn
Happn is very similar to the two above but with a twist. You start an account but as you walk around your city, if you encounter anyone with the app, they appear on the location where you crossed paths and you have the option to say whether you like them or not. If both parties like each other then boom — it’s a match.
PS: Tinder is the most-used dating app in the UK too.
The do and don’t of online dating are the same for everyon e
Choose your photos wisely. You could be the funniest person on the planet, but if you look like a goof you’re not getting any matches.
The pictures should be of you, with maybe one with friends.
Tailor your photos to bring out something about you. Have a hobby? Upload a photo of you doing that.
Got a great body? Flaunt it but don’t overdo it.
Travel and pet pictures are a big plus.
Use your bio to enhance your profile. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of the truly interesting matches are eager to read your bio as a way to know more about you before they swipe right.
Don’t lie on your profile. Someone will eventually find out. Exaggeration is fine if it is humorous, but straight up saying you’re a Norwegian prince is a no-no.
Do not expect to find your true love on your first day on Tinder. It’s love, not a taxi, and you don’t even get taxis at will these days.
Don’t assume everyone is who he or she says they are. This is the Internet. Be your own Sherlock Holmes and find them online on Facebook or LinkedIn. Might sound creepy but you gotta be safe. Plus that way you can compare their photos to their Tinder profile. A hot dude might turn out to be a 40-year-old uncle. You might just find your married uncle/aunt or cousin using the app to find ‘friends’ too.
Pause. Read their bio. Decide if you’d actually want to know them in real life and then swipe right. You might not want to date a guy who spells ‘friendship’ as ‘fraandship’.
Always check the number of common friends you have. Makes the person more legit.
Always try to video chat before meeting up.
Keep an open mind. People often look for hook ups on the app. If that is not the way you swing, make sure to clear the air early. If you do, that is okay too! Just remember to stay safe.
Do not group all your matches into the ‘date’ zone. Try to know them before you get intimate.
Don’t ask for nudes. Yes, people use these apps to hook up, but begging someone for naked photos is sad and pathetic. Treat people with respect.
FIRST TIME ON THE APP
INDIA
“Dosto ko kya jawab doonga” is usually your first thought.
After downloading the app you either download an app locker or change all your phone passwords to keep it a secret.
Then you debate whether or not to inform your best friends. You would wish if it could be as simple as “Hey, I joined Tinder. Wish me luck!”
Y You wonder whether to use your nickname, just in case you are caught up in an embarrassing situation.
Y One of the most challenging steps is selecting pictures. “What if someone recognises me” will war with “Well, if it’s needed, it’s needed. If I am on it, let’s ensure that I look the hottest” in your mind as you scroll through your pictures.
Y “Why did I not download this earlier”, your mind screams after your first ‘jackpot’ hit.
Y The sea of people you come across is absolutely overwhelming and you go on to wonder “where were all these people all this time?”
Y As you keep swiping left, there comes this one person you are stuck with, whose pictures are too hot to handle and their bio screams it’s a perfect match. And your mind screams “Should I use the Super Like option or will that seem way too desperate?”
Y As you keep swiping you will probably come across Sharmaji’s son who is spoken very highly of and already has a girlfriend. The worst case scenario is if you stumble upon Sharma uncle himself.
FIRST TIME ON THE APP
UK
In the UK today, you either have Tinder or you are a social outcast. So you give in to peer pressure and fill in the blanks of your profile like the conditioned lab rat you are, constantly thinking, “I’m hot right?” or, “God I’m so funny, they’re going to love my bio.”
You struggle to decide what pictures to use. Should I go shirtless to flaunt what I have? How recent should my photos be? Am I really that fat? Picture choosing is a minefield that could leave you stuck in no man’s (or woman’s) land.
You wonder whether to ask your friends for help, but know fully well they’ll laugh at you, screenshot your profile and then send it around in the group chat, even though they are facing the exact same issues as you.
Your bio usually deserves a UK comedy award for its humour and your photo at Jared’s house party three years ago will have to do.
Swipe after swipe after swipe and still no matches. A few more swipes… still nothing. You decide to expand your search parameters to an extra few kilometres to find someone and that doesn’t work either.
You see hundreds of girls (or boys) pass by your eyes and eventually there’s that one person whose profile makes your heart do little flips. You dream about your future together and wonder what your children will be like. You contemplate using your ‘Super Like’ but worry what they’ll think. You wonder if Mary will like you or your weird spoon collection or that you still live with your parents. You take the plunge and press that button.
‘Congratulations, you have a new match.’ FINALLY! But, it’s not Mary, it’s Susan! Her bio says she is a ‘tea drinker’. How depressing does that sound?
Don’t expect a response from the people who swipe right. Guys are ‘meant’ to start the conversation. It’s the sad, unwritten rule of online dating. Expect to laugh, cry and learn — and most of all, expect to run into lots of drama!
APP C0NFESSIONS
INDIA
SUCCESS STORIES
“I went on a date with this cute Brit I met on Tinder. He has clear blue eyes and I was clearly very attracted. We had a nice meal at Chili’s, Quest, and the conversation flowed throughout without an awkward pause. It was 11 at night when we left. The cherry on the cake? I had my first kiss with the guy — right outside the mall! We went on a few dates before he left the country but we still keep in touch. To be honest, he kind of ruined Tinder for me because I have not found anyone as good after that,” said a third-year mass communication and videography student.
“I’ve only been on three Tinder dates so far and have been lucky as of now *touchwood*. My first date was with a pianist from the UK. He was of Indian origin who was in town to visit his family. He was a biker and after a few dates, we went on a long drive on the highway and had food at a roadside dhaba. Definitely my kind of a date,” said a second-year political science student.
HORROR STORIES
“The first time I joined Tinder, I came across this guy who seemed perfect. We had common friends and he was relatively decent-looking. However, less than an hour into the conversation, I had been invited to his home for an ‘illicit liaison’. He offered to sell me some unspeakable stuff too! Not to mention, the sexual innuendoes had become too much to handle within an hour of the conversation and this was clearly not what I was looking for on my first day on the app! I unmatched him in less than two hours,” said a 20-year-old college-goer.
“Matched with a guy on Tinder and we were speaking for about a month before deciding to meet up. He seemed nice and I was willing to give it a shot. On the day of the date, I reached the restaurant only to be shocked to find that it was not the guy but his mother who was chatting with me and trying to hook her son up. I refused to stay any longer. His mother kept asking what was wrong if she tries to help her son find the perfect girl,” said a 25-year-old working professional.
“I was a victim of catfishing. The guy was perfect on paper and we had been speaking every day for nearly two months. I even stopped swiping right on other guys because I was into him. But every time I asked to video call, he’d make an excuse and try to confine the conversation to Tinder. I confronted him with the topic only for him to confess he was pretending to be someone he was not. He was unmatched instantly,” said a 21-year-old student.
“I matched with a girl and chatted with her for two days before we decided to meet. We met at a restaurant for lunch. She was funny and while talking I got to know that she had broken up with her boyfriend and decided to join Tinder. I happened to be the first guy she ‘liked’ and right swiped. After lunch we went for a drive as per her desire. She was driving as she was the one who got the car. As I entered the car, I saw a teddy beneath the back seat (which I think she did not know about). I picked it up and asked her about it nonchalantly. Turns out it was given by the ex-boyfriend with whom she broke up with yesterday. YESTERDAY! She was mad as hell and kept ranting about her ex. After 15 minutes, she politely asked me to get out of the car and sped off. Literally, the weirdest Tinder date ever,” said a first-year BCom student.
UK
SUCCESS STORY
I once posted on Yik Yak (which is an anonymous posting app, which sadly no longer exists) that I was “feeling lonely and just wanted someone’s hair to play with.” Someone replied and after a while we were together. Eventually, distance and arguments broke us up, but that sort of counts right?
HORROR STORIES
“A girl once matched me, then messaged me: ‘Nah, you’re alright’ and then unmatched. It broke my confidence massively.”
“My friend matched with a girl who wasn’t really his type and she supported his rival football team. He then messaged her saying she should text me because we’re better suited. We met up a couple of times and made out on a night out, but she said I wasn’t her type and well, that was that.”
“I was talking to this girl for a little while and she seemed really cool. I offered to take her out for lunch, just something casual, to Prezzo – the Italian chain restaurant. I was halfway to pick her up when she messaged me asking me if it was okay if she brought her kid. She never told me she had a kid, nor was it in any of her pictures. Considering I was half way there I said yes. The entire time was awkward as we looked like a family and I had to pay for the kid’s meal as well as hers.”
“I’m black and this girl I matched said she wanted me to “be her slave.” She meant that in a sexual way, I hope, but it made me so uncomfortable I had to unmatch her.”
“A girl once matched me and went on a date with me, only to tell me that she came because she fancied my younger brother and wanted to see if we were similar or if I could set her up with him. We never spoke again.”
WHAT YOU HEAR WHEN YOU SAY YOU’RE ON A DATING APP
The meaningful looks people give you when they come to know that you are on a dating app is something you can’t miss. The nudges and the winks are just the beginning though. Here are a few things you commonly hear when friends and family get to know you are on a dating app.
How do you know that the other person is not catfishing you?
How will I tell your grandparents you met your husband on Tinder?!
Why dating app? You can meet anyone you want in person too.
Isn’t this a little desperate?
So, you are on the app just to hook up right?
Be very careful. These app-types are not very trustworthy.
You are very courageous. I shudder to think of me opening a Tinder account.
beta, yeh Tinder kis cheez ki application hai? (From the fam.)
I hope you do understand that Tinder is a Flipkart for #f***boys and that their right swipe is only them adding you to their cart.
Let us see your profile.
Oi, swipe right on me on Tinder.
Let me message some of the people you matched with, I’ll make them want you.
Boys only want one thing and it’s disgusting.
Why don’t you date Mrs So-and-so’s daughter?
Just be careful – you never know who, or what, you’re talking to.
TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MEET ONLINE
The desperate: This person will swipe right on any profile.
The taken: This person is already in a relationship and his/her profile picture is with their significant other! They make you wonder who they are looking for. #Weird
The married: These predators are married but still have a profile on Tinder which makes them super creepy and scary.
#SteerClear
The shy: These are the people who are reluctant to strike up a conversation or meet not because they are creepy but because they are shy. They wait for the other person to message first.
The highfalutin: They are the judgmental kind. They will scrutinise everyone and will find any excuse for not dating them. “He likes old movies? Boring!” #EyeRoll
The disappointments: These are the ones whose profile you liked and agreed to meet but turn out to be not what you expected. You are usually planning to fake an emergency and run within 15 minutes of meeting them.
The talk-only: These people are very comfortable talking to you online but once you try to convince them to meet, they’ll come up with a number of excuses.
The melancholy traveller: Away from their home cities or even countries, these people are on the dating application to find someone to have dinner with or to grab a glass of beer with.
The SO material: Perfection doesn’t exist, but these people come pretty close. They’re everything you could ever want from a person and more. It’s just a shame they’ll never match you.
The nude hunters: These are disgusting pervs that only want one thing and give all the nice guys a bad rep.
The slow responder: You messaged them in 2012 and they’re only messaging you back now. Not worth your time.
The surprising: You go in expecting okay, instead you get someone you can totally end up with.
Text: Sulogna Ghosh, Tiash De, Rushabh Shah, Debolina Banerjee, Benjamin Wodecki
