He got a well-paying job at an MNC right after he graduated. Debanjan Roy was also in a steady relationship with his girlfriend of three years. One would think that his life was sorted. And then it all started unravelling.

He lost interest in his job, quit it for another and another and another. In four years, he changed jobs four times. He started questioning his choice of career and eventually started stressing about the fact that he wasn't good enough. His inability to cope with his phases of extreme anxiety, stress and frequent unemployment began telling on his relationship and eventually he and his girlfriend broke up.

Debanjan coped with the loss by blaming himself. Guilt and self-pity made a deadly combination, pushing him into a dark place. It did not help that he was surrounded by happy peers. By now, not only had he lost his self-confidence, he had also lost his sense of purpose.

People said he was suffering from depression but that wasn't quite it. What he had is called in current-day parlance - quarter-life crisis.

The Wikipedia definition of quarter-life crisis reads thus: a period of life ranging from the 20s to the 30s in which a person begins to feel doubtful about his or her own life, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult.

Indeed, the proverbial mid-life crisis just got moved up.

According to a recent survey published in The Guardian, quarter-life crisis affects 86 per cent of millennials, who report battling insecurities, disappointments, loneliness and some form of depression.

Says Calcutta-based psychotherapist Jolly Laha, "Young adults face quarter-life crisis due to their inner mental resistance to take the responsibilities that come with adulthood."

And the ones more prone to it are young men and women who have been pampered by their parents and shielded from the harsh realities of life. Though one must admit that in many cases it is nature and not nurture that is to blame.

They have never had to take a decision about themselves by themselves. And if they have, they have been shielded from the adverse consequences. And, of course, they have almost never had to work out a solution by themselves. Whether nurture or nature, either way, the end result is the same - a set of young adults who are not only self-centred but also wanting in basic life skills.

Says Laha, "It is such dependent people who are prone to suffer a quarter-life crisis." The psychotherapist who counsels many such young adults talks of a 26-year-old who was suffering from depression after his breakup. He begged his mother to convince his girlfriend to get back with him. When she did, he forced her give up her job because he was insecure and worried that she might fall in love with someone at her workplace. Laha also talks about a 30-year-old who got a divorce because his wife refused to get a corporate job. He was ashamed to be seen with her in public. Both classic cases of quarter-life crisis.

The symptoms of quarter-life crisis, according to Laha, are inexplicable sadness, tendency to constantly compare oneself with one's peers and coming up short, low self-esteem, impatience, lack of motivation, getting frustrated easily, indecisiveness, insecurity, fear of responsibilities and inability to manage anger.

But there is a way out of it. "Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Prioritise what is most important to you and set a relevant short-term goal. Decide how you will achieve it. Figure out what makes you happier. In this way, you can develop self-assessment without depending on the feedback of others," says Laha.

The moot point is this - you are young only once. Don't let imagined clouds rain on this period of your life.

DEAL WITH IT

• Take a step back and identify the root cause

•  Find support and talk about it

•  Make a list of dos and don’ts and act on those

•  Keep your goal realistic, but make sure you meet it 

•  Remember this is a process, there will be no results overnight

•  When you feel the anxiety mounting, take it easy and breathe