Public Lives: (From top) Rajeev Khandelwal with Namraj Joshi in Sach ka Saamna; Meena Shah, another participant on the show; Kiran Bedi in Aap ki Kachehri

An extra-marital affair is not an issue one generally likes to talk about in public. But the television studio was Meena Shah’s confession box. The Mumbai-based event manager and Tarot card reader went on the air to reveal her hitherto untold story of infidelity to millions of viewers — and her family and friends.

Blogger and author Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan tells her readers about her menstruating days, and how she and her live-in partner walk semi-naked around the house. Delhi-based marketing professional Anita Sharma shares the minutest details of her life — from her mood swings to squabbles with her boss — with friends on Facebook, the social networking site.

Suddenly, Indians are shedding all those old traits of shame and secrecy they were known for. Issues that were once never aired outside the bedroom are being dissected by strangers at length. Man, woman and child —everybody is busy letting out personal and family secrets. And the new Indian is lapping it all up.

Shah’s darkest secrets came tumbling out on the reality show Sach ka Saamna on Star Plus. And she has no problems about washing dirty linen in public. “I am not a perfect human being and I have no qualms about saying so on a show,” she says. This 50-year-old mother of four answered questions on fidelity, lies and theft while her husband, daughter, brother and sister-in-law sat in the audience. It was on this show that Shah admitted to having had an affair. “I wanted them (the family) to love me for what I am,” says Shah. She walked out of the studio with a lighter heart and a heavier wallet. She won Rs 10 lakh for telling all.

So why are Indians showcasing their lives for strangers? Actor Rajeev Khandelwal, host of Sach ka Saamna, believes people have merely lifted their veils of hypocrisy. “To be able to say the truth aloud is a redeeming experience,” says Khandelwal. Since its launch last month, Sach ka Saamna has received 25,000 phone calls and emails from people eager to appear on the show. In its first week, its TRP rating — a gauge of programme viewership — was 4.6, when Iss Jungle Se Mujhe Bachao, another reality show that opened on the same weekend, had a TRP rating of 1.6.

When popular radio jockey Anil Srivatsa launched Between the Sheets, a “talk therapy” programme on an FM channel two years ago, he wasn’t very sure if Indians would take to it. “The show was popular in the United States but we didn’t know how it would be received in India,” says Srivatsa. But the show — currently off the air — which talked about sexuality had no dearth of calls from women. Now on a sabbatical, the anchor has plans to launch Between the Sheets on television as well.

Some believe that the tell-all trend is catching on because voyeurism sells. But author Shobhaa Dé, known for her provocative writing, says it is an outcome of conflicting attitudes. “This sort of exhibitionism is bound to find takers in a society that is repressed on many levels and strangely liberated on other levels.” She points out that Indians were always inquisitive about others. “I am actually surprised this has taken so long to hit us,” says Dé.

Promoters of reality shows are making the most of this nosy aspect of the average Indian. And this was most obvious in a programme aired recently in which actress Rakhi Sawant had a public courtship and chose her groom on television. The questions that Sawant put to her 16 final wooers ranged from those relating to income to frank queries about past relationships. “We love being on television — it is a national disease,” says Dé. Sawant, clearly, loved it — as did her audience. She talked about issues that are generally kept under wraps — such as spite in the family and the role of the casting couch in the film industry. When the programme’s final episode was being aired, the host channel — NDTV Imagine —was the most-viewed entertainment channel. The show gave the channel its highest TRP of 6.3 since the latter’s launch in January 2008.

It’s not just television. The Internet is another platform for disclosing secrets. Bloggers have been baring their souls to strangers. Social networking sites talk about relationships and break ups. Then there is Twitter, a micro blogging site. Some 13,000 people eagerly follow actress Mallika Sherawat’s tweets on topics as varied as men and make-up.

“It’s pure narcissism,” says blogger and author Reddy Madhavan. With 13,62,699 page views since July 2004, she has often been praised for the underlying eroticism in her blog.

But what is it that’s prompting people to stand on their rooftops and talk about themselves? Some experts believe that it is a way of seeking attention. Namraj Joshi, a 40-year-old tour operator from Mumbai who participated in Sach ka Saamna, is candid about his motive. Joshi says he wanted people to know about him and reality television was the easiest route available. “I went to the show for my 15 minutes of fame and came out unscathed,” says Joshi.

It seems nobody is complaining about being under public scrutiny. “People tend to judge you because they consider themselves to be the guardians of some pre-constructed moral fabric,” says Ruchi Kokcha, a 24-year-old government school teacher from Delhi. She has openly discussed her sexual fantasies on Between the Sheets and her blog offers a slice of her personal life.

Shedding inhibitions is not just restricted to the upper middle class. Star Plus has a daily series called Aap ki Kachehri which is a televised courtroom reality show that tries to resolve conflicts. The participants are often people from poorer sections of society who can’t afford to fight long legal battles.

In one of its episodes, a harassed wife hauls up her bigamous husband. Ex-supercop Kiran Bedi, the host of the show, stresses that earlier people didn’t have a platform to vent their anguish. “They now have a redress system on TV,” she says.

According to Delhi-based psychologist Rajat Mitra, the country’s social fabric is undergoing a change. “People are breaking boundaries and this is rebellious behaviour,” says Dr Mitra. Sociologist Patricia Uberoi believes, “Certain notions of honour and shame have been temporarily suspended,” she says.

Kokcha puts the debate in perspective. “Earlier people were socially oriented and now they are self oriented,” she says. “What will the neighbours say” is no longer an abiding worry. “I like to assert my true self without caring about social acceptance,” Kokcha adds. Watch out, warns Dé: “The Oprah Winfrey-isation of India is almost complete.”