Another festive season, another lot of presents. Last year, 2000 lucky people got a greeting card from me with one of my paintings and even a printed signature. Then, each of my legislators in West Bengal received a wonderful gift — a framed photograph of mine. This year, for the Pujas, I am planning a bonanza — a singing card with my photograph, a poem inscribed on it, and one of my artworks. And when you open it, it will burst into a song sung by me. What more could my supporters ask for?

— Mamata Banerjee, before Durga Puja, October 2011

I explained what I meant by Hindu terrorism, but now, after these Bharatiya Janata Party chaps, the Bahujan Samaj Party is after me. What can I do if Wikileaks lets out an innocuous comment that I’d made on Buddhist terrorism?

— Member of Parliament Rahul Gandhi, in the Budget session of Parliament as the Opposition stages a walk out, February 2011

There isn’t much of a difference between Cochin and Calcutta or Kochi and Kolkata. As long as I am the captain, I will always be the dada. And as for korbo lorbo jeetbo, I have modified it a bit. Now it’s just korbo!

— Saurav Ganguly, after Kochi snapped him up at the IPL 4 auction, January 2011

A court appearance? Hmm… What do I wear? Is this the right occasion for my Roberto Cavalli? Or what was that about the devil wearing Prada?

— Niira Radia, in a conversation with her lawyer on the telephone (as revealed in Open magazine), August 2011

Look out for my brand new hairstyle. Why do you think I wore a bandana when I met Parliamentarians in Delhi last year? Some producers and directors keep their plots a secret; I like to hide my hair.

— Actor Aamir Khan, before the release of Dhobi Ghat, January 2011

Mukesh has built his skyscraper, and Anil is now ready to surpass that. As their mother, I’d better look for something even higher. I am told that someone called Qutub-ud-din Aibak has a nice plan.

— Kokilaben Ambani, mother of the Ambani brothers, when asked to comment on Anil Ambani’s towering house in Mumbai, November 2011

I meant business when I pulled up all those selfish road hogs who drive SUVs on diesel. Sadly, no one took me seriously. But wait and watch. Now I am going to come down heavily on people who use hair dryers. I mean, just how selfish can you get? Why can’t people take a lesson from my naturally wind-swept hair?

— Environment minister Jairam Ramesh, at a press conference before the Durban conference, July 2011

This is my last book. All right, I said that in 2010 too — and then came up with two books. Okay, okay — don’t quibble — I said this before the launch of six of my last books. But this is my last. Till the next one, that is.

— Writer Khushwant Singh, still prolific at 96, at the launch of his new book Lagavulin and La Vagina, April 2011

I am tired of all this talk about how I’ve not been a part of a winning World Cup team. This year, after announcing my retirement from Tests and one day internationals, I’ll play Twenty20 for India. And I’ll be there in the team when we win the Twenty20 World Cup. Eat your heart out, Kapil!

— Batsman Sachin Tendulkar, after the World Cup final, March 2011

Onions are too expensive? So let them eat grapes, which are growing in abundance in my constituency, Baramati. Milk has gone up by Rs 2? So let them drink wine. What is the wine industry in Baramati for?

— Agriculture minister Sharad Pawar when asked by the press to comment on price hikes during the festive season of Holi, March 2011

Ha, ha — just got this joke on my phone: what’s the difference between Rajini and Lord Krishna? Rajini can play Krishna, but Krishna can’t play Rajini. I say, must ask the producer to give free balcony tickets to all these rascals who think up such wonderful jokes.

— Actor Rajinikanth on his 2011 animation film, Hara, where he is said to be playing Lord Krishna, May 2011

Let the people rule. If they want their own state, who are we to come in the way? So, Kautilya Marg — arise and awake. We’ve nothing to lose but our leafy avenues.

— Writer Arundhati Roy, whose house in Kautilya Marg was broken into by activists in 2010, at a seminar, June 2011

I want a re-poll. The people’s voice has been stifled. This is called scientific rigging. The bourgeois press is to be blamed. It’s all Prakash Karat’s fault.

— West Bengal chief minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee, reacting to the state assembly election results, May 2011

Thank you, God. Jai ho! Sorry, that was my script for the Oscar Awards. Here’s the new script. Thank you, God. Jai ho!

— Composer A.R. Rahman, at the Golden Globe awards ceremony in January, 2011

I’d quit — if only Gen Next would be ready to take over from me! But since they insist on hanging on to my coat-tails, I am afraid I’ll have to make a bid for Prime Ministership all over again. And speaking of coat-tails, let me check with Pratibha if she’s put my black bandhgala out for an airing.

— BJP parliamentary party chairman L.K. Advani, in reply to a question from the press on who’d lead the party in the event of a mid-term poll, November 2011