When he got into a brawl at Sanjay Dutt’s party, it was Shirish Kunder at fault. It was Shirish who was drunk, obnoxious and asking to be beaten up. It was Shirish who had provoked Shah Rukh by passing boorish remarks on Priyanka Chopra.

When White Plains officials detained him in New York, the airport guys were at fault. They were racist, they were sadists who indulged in racial profiling and hated the surname Khan. Never mind if the less obtrusive Aamir Khan quietly flies in and out of America without raising an alarm.

That he’d made a film called My Name Is Khan which, like Pakistan’s Khuda Ke Liye and Yashraj’s New York , indicted the American government for its Islamophobic security system, but still had a valid visa to enter the great democracy, was lost on everybody. Because Shah Rukh Khan is never at fault, everybody on the other end of the stick is.

It will soon be ditto in his latest scuffle with MCA guards on Wednesday night as his PR machinery starts rolling. In any case, every time Shah Rukh gets into a mess of his own making, there are enough celebrity-struck Congress and BCCI officials like Rajiv Shukla cleaning up after him.

Also, Kolkata Knight Riders have already had this season’s last IPL match at Wankhede, Mumbai, so there’s no reason for Shah Rukh to want to go back there for any of the remaining matches. And then Vilasrao Deshmukh’s son, Riteish Deshmukh is one of SRK’s chief acolytes. So brace yourself for the Khan side of the swear-word match at Wankhede.

On Thursday morning itself, the whispers of how Shah Rukh’s little guests were mishandled by the rude MCA staff and how all they wanted to do was to shake hands with Pollard, had started.

The feeling of all-will-soon-be-well-for-SRK is not without foundation. Out of the notorious Shirish Kunder bash-up came the noble patch-up between Farah and Shah Rukh. Their Khan vs Khan battle has gone into peace zone with Shah Rukh and Farah actually talking of co-producing their next, Happy New Year. It’s a title that was registered by Red Chillies and stayed with them even after Farah had taken the script and left the banner two years ago. It’s all hunky-dory now with Shah Rukh reserving an entire floor in his new office building for Farah and her team.

Like a female Manmohan Desai, Farah will be mounting a commercial multi-starrer with Shah Rukh, Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Boman Irani and a young hero on board. Will the girl be Vidya Balan?

“I need a girl who can dance, who can act and who is pretty,” stipulates Farah who has just undergone cosmetic surgery.

By the way, what’s the connection between the Kolkata Knight Riders faring well at the IPL and Farah’s surgery? And shouldn’t she have done this before she shot for Shirin Farhad Ki Nikal Padi, the Sanjay Leela Bhansali film where she makes her debut as an actor?

It’s a bit convoluted but here’s the answer: Farah Khan, the only honest celebrity around who gamely talks of the tummy tuck surgery that she just did in Mumbai, needed five weeks to go under the knife and recuperate from it. But she was so busy with her reality shows and the shooting of Shirin Farhad that she just couldn’t spare time for her surgery. So she happily completed the film first and because SRK’s total involvement with KKR’s success left him too distracted for the pre-production work of Happy New Year, Farah quickly went into the operation theatre.

“If KKR hadn’t done well and it was an early pack-up for them, maybe I wouldn’t have had the time for my surgery,” laughed Farah. First, it was her children through IVF treatment that Farah never hid from the world. Now it is her tummy tuck that she happily talks about to everybody, even giving the doctor’s name and number to those interested in it. For every Shazahn Padamsee, Shilpa Shetty or Kangana Ranaut who sneaks off for a quiet nip and tuck, there is one frank Farah who asks pertly, “Why? Have I committed a crime that I should hide it?” This is one celebrity who truly celebrates honesty.

Bharathi S. Pradhan is editor, The Film Street Journal