I had taken a month off from work to help my son, who was to sit for Madhyamik. His studies had kept me busy through the day and I could grab sleep for no more than three or four hours at night. The exams are over but I cannot bear the expectations of my relatives any more. This is taking a toll on my mind. My son, too, is showing signs of unnecessary panic and is not being able to perform to his capacity.

That’s what Sreedip Chakraborty (name changed) told city-based psychoanalyst Pranab Kumar Basu over the phone while seeking an appointment with him.

Basu’s initial impression was that Sreedip was seeking help for himself. He was proved wrong when Sreedip, who holds a senior position in a foreign bank, entered the chamber with son Shankha.

“Once he started talking, I realised that he had come not for himself but for his son,” Basu said. “He was upset that his son, unable to put up with the rising demand on him to perform, was breaking down.”

The father said he was not happy with his son’s Madhyamik results — the boy had scored 78 per cent — and pleaded with the psychoanalyst to counsel him so he could perform better in future.

On analysing both the father and the son, Basu concluded that it was the father who needed counselling. “When I asked Shankha his name, it was the father who replied. It went on for some time for each and every question. I then asked Sreedip to leave the room and had a session with the child alone,” Basu recounted.

“I have come across umpteen number of such cases and on most occasions, it is the parents who needed counselling. They pass on to their children their own expectations and a mindset of unhealthy competition to perform well in exams. The young minds are being fed with the notion that their only mission in life is to land a high-salaried job,” Basu observed.

The psychoanalyst’s concerns are echoed by academicians, who see no way out of the ordeal students are in, unless the parents realise their follies and rectify themselves. “I have seen several brilliant students succumbing to pressure while trying to meet their parents’ expectations,” observed C.S. Gasper, principal, St Augustine’s Day School.

Citing an example, Gasper said: “A brilliant student in our school wanted to pursue higher studies in English literature. But his mother, who teaches chemistry at a university, wanted him to take up science. She would even threaten to commit suicide if he did not go by her wish,” the principal recalled.

The boy, who performed well in all exams and passed Madhyamik with flying colours, failed in the Class XI test. He felt humiliated as he was the only student in the school to fail.