Moments from Mitr My Friend

Date name: Ria

Age: 25

Occupation: Service, Calcutta

Sites visited: OkCupid, LoveCompass, date.com, datingindya.com, yahoo.com

Frequency: Several times a day

Since: High school

Net gain: “In class IX and X, my friends used to boast about the guys they ‘met’ over the Net, but I never believed in these things. Then, just for fun, I logged on to one of these sites. Six-and-a-half years ago I ‘met’ Rajneesh at the India chatroom of the Yahoo chatfriends engine. We grew real close and finally decided to marry. He works in Mumbai, we chat for hours each night and we are getting married next January... So many of my friends have also got married this way...”

So how many in Net-savvy Calcutta are ready to say “Aati kya Khandala” online? Quite a few actually, if one goes by the figures by one of the leading Indian online dating sites, Fropper.com.

Navin Mittal, head of Fropper.com, told GoodLife from Mumbai: “We have some 15,000 members in Calcutta, 60 per cent of whom are in the age group of 18-25. For them, meeting up with like-minded people is important and they are always on the lookout for partners and friends. There is far less response from the 35+ age bracket.”

Starting in 2003 with only a few thousand members, Fropper today boasts 850,000 members and over 15 million page views a month.

“Online dating has seen a phenomenal increase in the past two-and-a-half years. The industry has seen a 400 per cent growth, and there are at least 200,000 people visiting our site daily,” said Mittal.

But the reality rider comes fast enough: “The average Indian is still very conservative and believes in moving slowly from friendship to dating and so on.”

Fropper.com has in fact changed its image. From being just a place where boys and girls met it has become a friendship and networking site.

“If Fropper had remained just a dating site, I am not sure it would have done that well. Most dating sites are not doing too well or are functioning as matrimonial sites,” explained Mittal.

The Internet & Mobile Association of India, a Mumbai-based research and survey unit, however, sees things differently.

Though armed with “details only of matrimonial sites and nothing on dating”, a spokesperson for Internet & Mobile Association of India said there may be many who are using matrimonial sites to set up appointments with probable matches.

Interestingly, the name Fropper (short for “friend hopper”) seems to underline a change in social attitude. The new-age partner-seeker is ready to search for compatibility. The anonymity of the Net allows one to search, fail and search again.

But then such sites are also (as many users admit) a good place for timepass, a weapon against loneliness and since knowing a cross-section of people is essential today in all spheres of activity, sites like Fropper.com become handy networking tools.

Such sites may also be filling in the blanks left by the fading of the regular teashop adda. The forums and discussion boards at such sites sure point to the craving to connect.

“Different topics come up for discussion and then we get a flurry of responses,” said Mittal.

Date: Sashi

Age: 28

Occupation: Business, Calcutta

Sites visited: Match.com, Fropper.com

Frequency: Everyday

Since: Five months

Net gain: I like the Fropper Forums. There are so many topics for discussion and I have made a lot of interesting friends this way. In fact, some of us who share the same wave length meet up every Friday. Guess you could call it group-dating. Yes, I do go for personal dating, but it doesn’t happen too often because most people are so busy these days. We meet at least once in two weeks, at Caf? Coffee Day or Barista... I met my best friend like this. If I meet someone really special I don’t mind taking the relationship further.

But what about the risk factor? The possibility of being taken for a ride in the wide web world? Of hopes turning to despair, of friendship falling foul and, far worse, of stalking and sexual harassment?

The service providers for such partnership platforms argue that these “threats in the virtual world are no different from the real world”.

So, one just has to be as cautious. In fact, the anonymity of technology provides a safety barrier allowing you to back out at the slightest hint of trouble.

Calcutta Police is now addressing new-age crime, particularly when it comes to women complaining of harassment on the Net spilling over on to the SMS screen or in some cases even the streets.

And on some of these meet-and-greet sites, “elaborate abuse prevention and reporting systems” are being put in place.

“We have screening profiles and filtering of messages and anyone found in the wrong is taken off the site at once,” claimed Mittal.

And what would be scrap count per month? “Hardly one or two a year; most Indians already know how to use the site to their advantage.”