Somewhere between the daily coffee runs, passive-aggressive emails, and motivational posters peeling off the walls, a whole new set of workplace jargon — beyond the dated, often overused “bandwidth” and “synergy” — has come to life.
Welcome to the unofficial dictionary of modern workplaces — a world where your “work wife” knows your Starbucks order better than your spouse, and “coffee badging” is almost an Olympic sport. Let’s dive in.
Work wife
No, this isn’t HR trouble waiting to happen. A work wife (or husband) is your platonic partner-in-crime at office. They’re the ones who know the Wi-Fi password, your lunchbox preferences, and that Karen from Finance is on thin ice… again. If you have one such person at work, without whom you feel lost, congratulations, you’ve got yourself a work wife.
Quiet cutting
Forget quiet quitting. Quiet cutting is when the company doesn’t fire you but gradually pushes you towards the door. One such way companies do this is by unofficially giving your subordinate a higher position in the hierarchy. The title is still there, the salary is intact, but your dignity? On unpaid leave.
Peacocking
We all know that one colleague who struts into meetings with a PowerPoint that has too many transitions, a blazer with shoulder pads wide enough to land a plane, and the loudest laugh in the room. That’s peacocking: making sure everyone notices you, even if your ideas are bland.
Coffee badging
You pop into the office, swipe your badge, grab a latte, say hi to exactly three people, and disappear faster than free samosas at a team lunch. On paper, you’ve shown up. In reality, you’re back on your couch by 11am. Respect.
Boomerang employee
These are the ones who leave dramatically (“I’m following my passion, guys!”), only to return six months later. They’re like that ex who comes back after realising Tinder isn’t all that helpful.
Wellness washing
You know when management introduces Yoga Fridays but still expects you to respond to emails at midnight? That’s wellness washing. It’s the corporate equivalent of slapping a green sticker on a plastic bottle and calling it eco-friendly.
Resenteeism
This is what happens when you don’t quit, but also don’t care. You show up, sulk through meetings, and sigh whenever someone says “circle back”. Essentially, you’re a ghost employee.
Lazy girl job
Don’t be fooled by the name. A lazy girl job is one that’s stress-free, pays decently, and doesn’t require you to sell your soul to Slack notifications. Think remote role with a four-day week and a manager who has no idea what time zone you’re in. Living the dream.
Tech neck
All those hours hunched over laptops and phones? Say hello to tech neck. It’s the office badge of honor that comes with neck pain, bad posture, and the realisation that your chiropractor is now your most expensive subscription.
Snackable work
This is Gen Z’s gift to productivity. Instead of giant projects that loom like unpaid credit card bills, snackable work breaks tasks into tiny, digestible bites. Finish one, get a dopamine hit, reward yourself with an actual snack. It’s basically task management.
So, the next time you overhear a colleague whisper, “She’s totally coffee badging,” you’ll know what’s up. Modern workplaces may still run on Excel sheets and bad Wi-Fi, but the culture? Oh, it runs on these quirky little terms. Learn them, use them, and make those Monday mornings bearable.
