Prakash Singh (name changed) is not enjoying his new job of a lower-level manager at multinational music store. He rather liked his job when the store was a small, locally-owned one and the business was slow, manageable and Prakash was never on display in front of lines of people.

Now, Prakash dreads having to make calls to tell customers their order is in. When he has to, his voice goes weak and he is unable to get the words out. He stutters, chokes and then blurts out the message, feeling humiliated and embarrassed.

Prakash has no social life and his relationship with his peers is non-existent apart from very occasional interactions with a cousin. When he cannot escape a social event, the gathering makes him ill-at-ease and he never knows what to talk about or what to say. The worse part of the entire cycle is, of course, the anticipatory anxiety he feels before he has to perform or do something in public.

Prakash’s is a typical case of general social phobia. An explanation to his behaviour goes back to the days when a young Prakash was the shyest student in school.

Social psychologist Phillip P Zimbardo has conducted the Stanford Shyness Survey on more than 5,000 around the globe. His results suggest that shyness is a common problem and approximately 80 per cent of his subjects experience situational shyness. About 25 per cent revealed that they were shy on most social occasions – a behavioural problem known as dispositional or chronic shyness.

In course books, chronic shyness is a ‘distressing personality trait characterised by maladaptive strategies designed to minimise the sense of being overexposed in social situations’.

A few symptoms associated with chronic shyness arestuttering or awkward speech,egocentric statements, aloofness and insensitivity, feeling of inferiority, sexual difficulties introverted interests and solitary activities like writing, meditating and walking alone.

Generally, a person behaves in such manner because he feels that one is constantly being judged by others or being looked down upon in some way. The individual believes he is vulnerable and fears his ego will be crushed by the adverse opinion of others. As the individual is not comfortable with his self-image, he often has trouble relaxing and believes that no one is interested in him.

The cause of chronic shyness could be the parental style - one’s parents may have been authoritarian in childhood or had showered excess love and affection if the child ‘earned it’ – leading the child to believe he'll be loved only if he lives up to expectations.

Another reason could be sibling rivalry. The older child is usually the ‘star’ of the family. The younger one sees him as stronger, more self-confident, well co-ordinated etc. The problem is compounded if the parents dote on the elder child. A full-blown inferiority complex carried over from childhood is often the key to understanding chronic shyness in adulthood.

Also, if one has troubled relationship with peers during his early school-life between age or was looked upon as unattractive or incompetent, then that too could lead to an acute case of chronic shyness.

'But people do not realise that this is a disorder', says Dr. AK Gupta, psychiatrist with the Tata Main Hospital. 'They think even extreme cases of chronic shyness will go away with time. Often due to various social and psychological factors, shyness can lead to extreme introversion, which in turn may lead to disorders like depression, anxiety and social phobia', he adds.

Gupta suggests that with regular practice and voluntary participation, the disorder can be removed. 'Examine your inferiority feeling. Keep in mind that habit is a factor in chronic shyness. Habits are learned and what can be learned can also be unlearned'.

He counsels that things like stage fright and fear of public speaking will gradually diminish because of a phenomenon known as habituation, gradually adapting to a situation.

'It's called desensitization', he informs. Voluntary counter-suggestions like saying to your self that 'I am as attractive as the next person' and 'I reject the I-AM-NOT-OK-YOU-ARE-OK position' also builds self-confidence.

Acquiring assertive skills, learning to ask for what you want, to place yourself first sometimes and talking about yourself once in a while can also be of tremendous help.

'Counselling sessions can also be useful', says Gupta, candidly adding, 'but people, especially the middle class, are extremely hesitant to visit a psychiatrist unless their problem has snowballed to such an extent that it has either become a social menace or is creating immense personal problems'.

As Gupta says, “The biggest hurdle towards getting rid of the problem is the denying that there is a problem.'

Jasmeeta Dubey