Is marriage a nuptial bliss or a nightmare? Mostly young people who are on the threshold of entering a blissful married life, are equally blissfully unaware and unprepared for marriage. Their minds are preconditioned by ideas from their parents, relatives and friends. For many, marriage is a complicated concept that confuses them.

A large number of arranged marriages that take place in our society happen without any form of prior thoughts or planning from both the bride and the groom. Yet, very few people approach a counsellor or think of it. Indian society is yet to open its mind to the idea of marriage counselling before a wedding. Instead they seek counselling after a couple?s marriage is on the rocks and they are looking at it as a penultimate step before filing divorce.

Marriage counselling is a type of psychotherapy for a married couple or established partners, which tries to resolve problems in a relationship.

Vimla Suri: A counsellor from the steel city and based in the steel city, Suri feels that the basic problem that most marriages go through is the lack of communication.

It is a common phenomenon among couples that they fail to express their needs and expectations to each other. Generally, couples do not like to discuss sensitive and often personal details of their fears and needs with family or friends, as it is often embarrassing for them and because Indian families still maintain a degree of authority.

Approaching a third person at this point helps the couple learn about each other through sessions. They are also assured strict confidentiality by the counsellor. A counsellor is bound to secrecy as is any psychologist and lawyer according to the professional ethic.

?As the first step, I get the history of the people concerned, the environment he and she are living in, and learn about the ?person? who may be responsible for the person?s unhappiness,? says Suri. Her address: 20, Park Road, Near Beldih Church School, Jamshedpur She charges Rs 250 per session.

Ayesha Pillai: Counsellor & psychologist at The Apollo Clinic says: ?Marriage counselling is seen as a taboo in our society. Young people hesitate to approach us as family problems are supposed to be solved in the family itself. Often, a third person or a ?stranger? can resolve a matter better, as he or she looks at it from a neutral position.?

The nature of problem that she investigates varies but most common problems are sexual incompatibility, physical and mental abuse and stress.

The number of sessions that a person may require depends on the nature of problem, but Pillai believes a minimum of three sessions is required for any problem. She charges Rs 100 per session.

A session consists of 35 - 45 minutes. In the first three sessions she talks to both the parties and tries to gauge the nature of the problem that they may have.

Her Address: The Apollo Clinic, Jagdanba Commercial (P) Ltd., 19, Ram Mandir Area, Bistupur, Jamshedpur. Contact No: 2756051 and 2756054.

First hand

Communication: key to happiness

Here is an advice from the expert, Vimla Suri, to all those who want to build and maintain a healthy relationship. ?Communication is the key to a healthy marriage. Counselling can help almost any couple to learn how to communicate more effectively. And that translates to a happier and healthier marriage.? Hear, hear.