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| Many don’t consider live-in to be a test drive for marriage. They don’t want to get married. They just want to have sex.... I know a friend who lost her virginity on a boat in Prinsep Ghat.... I have a friend who had sex with his girlfriend on the backstairs of his maths tuition class! |
Team t2: Are people talking about Shuddh Desi Romance on campus?
Disha Roychaudhuri (third year, English, Jadavpur University): Yes, about the frequency of make-out sessions! And obviously the live-in relationship bit. We are also talking about how it can’t be done in Calcutta.
SANJANA RAY (second year, history, Presidency University): There are apparently 20 make-out sessions in the film! My friends are also talking about the living in. In Calcutta, there are curious neighbours and people will be judgemental. Oh, and Sushant’s shirtless scenes... he has a nice body. But my friends found the girls very annoying.
Raya Ghosh (third year, political science, Scottish Church College): The only watchable part of the movie was the Gulabi song and the issue of commitment phobia.
Ritwik Sen (fourth year, department of food technology, Techno India College): My friends have been talking about the futility of the plot. It’s a 20-minute story stretched into a two-hour movie. But yes, the movie drives home the point very well that our generation has a phobia of commitment.
Abhinanda Datta (third year, English, Jadavpur University): People are talking about the make-out scenes and how they’re making them horny! Also Sushant... he has that boka yet cute look. The guys prefer Vaani Kapoor to Parineeti Chopra. And of course the live-in bit and how they can’t do it because their parents would never allow it. I felt the best part was that throughout the film, whatever they did, they were independent and living life on their own terms.
Debdeep Banerjee (second year, mass communication and videography, St. Xavier’s College): Some people have really liked the movie. Some thought it was very fresh as it showed a live-in relationship. Some characters did stupid things, like the person you ran away from comes to meet you and wants to be with you! But one thing that I liked was that the film remained true to what it started with. And, of course, Vaani was way more appealing than Parineeti!
Team t2: Given a choice would you yourself live-in or do you know friends who would live-in?
Disha: I know a few friends who would want to live-in because of either commitment phobia or because they don’t want to get married. Personally, I would not want to live-in because I can’t stand the thought of being around the person 24x7!
Ritwik: When I was eight, one of my cousins was staying in America. She started living in with her boyfriend. At that point I thought it was cool and thought I would want to do it when I grew up. Now I want to do it once I am earning and when I get a lot more bored with life. If there is nothing more to do I’ll probably live-in. Also, I would definitely live-in with the person I want to marry.
Team t2: So you want the live-in relationship to end in marriage?
Ritwik: Not necessarily. But if I wanted to marry someone, I would live-in first.
Abhinanda: I know this girl whose parents wanted her to get married to her boyfriend but she did not want that. She went to Bangalore and now she is living in with him there. Her parents initially objected but now they have accepted it. As for me, I really do not believe in live-in relationships. It’s marriage for me.
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| People are talking about the make-out scenes in Shuddh Desi Romance and how they’re making them horny.... And how Vaani Kapoor was way more appealing than Parineeti Chopra |
Team t2: You said Calcutta wouldn’t allow live-ins. What are the problems?
Disha: Nosy neighbours. They don’t even have to be neighbours. Whenever I bring home male friends, some people who are outsiders, who don’t even stay in my complex, go, ‘E baba... chhele anchhe’. I stay alone so it’s an even bigger taboo.... I don’t think my father would have much objection to a live-in.
Debdeep: I think the biggest hindrance would be parents. Grown-ups seem to look down upon live-ins. You don’t want a scandal, at the end of the day!
Sanjana: With my parents, getting a boyfriend home is also a step-by-step process. Like make him a friend initially. They won’t be okay with me living in. Even if they are personally okay with it, they would think about the multi-million cousins they have, mashis and pishis who would say your daughter’s character is bad.
Raya: If you live in a joint family then it becomes a bigger problem.
Team t2: Does a live-in work as a test drive for marriage?
Sanjana: Most people I know would treat live-in as a test before marriage. Because if you are spending the rest of your life with a person, you would want to know beforehand if everything would work out.
Raya: Marriage is basically a one-time affair. Live-in helps us rule out all the speculation about whether a person will be able to execute marriage or not.
Disha: I do not want to get married at all, though I do know my ideas might change. Live-in is fine if I have to but I would rather have just a relationship.
Ritwik: Marriage is not the final goal. Personally, living in is preferred because breaking it off is a lot easier. Whoever I want to marry, I would definitely live-in with but not the other way around.
Debdeep: In a way it’s a test drive to check whether you are compatible. But I am not really comfortable with the idea of living in. I think in a live-in your loyalties are questionable. When you are living in, you are taking things very casually. There are no rules and regulations. In a way you are independent but too much independence takes you to wrong places.
Raya: Marriage is often guided by horoscopes. In a live-in, nobody cares whether you are living with a manglik or whether the stars match. The horoscope is compared by the family and if you want to marry somebody with whom your horoscope doesn’t match, you can justify to your parents that you have lived with that person already, so there could be no harm.
Team t2: When do each of you see yourself married?
Sanjana: Not before I turn 27-28.
Debdeep: When I am emotionally and financially stable. It could be 24, 28 or 30.
Ritwik: Definitely not before 30-32.
Raya: Not before 30.
Abhinanda: When I find the right guy. I am still looking for my soulmate. I am a born romantic and I believe in the concept of soulmates. Even if I find him at age 50, I’ll get married to him then.
Debdeep: At the moment I am trying to make my relationship work better. And get approval from my parents as well as her parents. I am not asking for an approval for marriage now, I am taking baby steps.
Raya: My friends and I feel that even if we get divorced we should not have to go back to our parents, we should be able to support ourselves.
Sanjana: Marriage is usually binding. If we marry a little late, it gives us a couple of years to have fun, experiment and then settle down and take things seriously. It’s just a few years so might as well kiss a lot of frogs in the meanwhile!
Team t2: Do you think live-in is all about having sex without having to look for empty apartments?
Debdeep: Yes, most of them live-in for that only.
Abhinanda: Many don’t consider it to be a test drive for marriage. They don’t want to get married. They just want to have sex.
Ritwik: Not necessarily. That is kind of proved when you go the Lakes in the evening. You see people in such compromising positions that you want to jump into the water yourself!
Abhinanda: I know a friend who lost her virginity on a boat in Prinsep Ghat!
Raya: I have a friend who had sex with his girlfriend on the backstairs of his maths tuition class!
Team t2: How important or unimportant is parental approval regarding your choice of partner?
Disha: I would like my father and other family members to approve of the guy. It feels good...
Abhinanda: I would show my parents the guy I am marrying and tell them, ‘I like him, please talk to him’. My father wants me to marry someone who is very learned and not good-looking. I am not going to marry someone like that for sure! If I am in love with him and he loves me back, then I don’t have a problem with it. Parents might be a bit angry initially but will ultimately approve.
Sanjana: Even if my dad doesn’t like the guy, if he sings one Rabindrasangeet my dad will love him instantly! I would want my parents’ approval because everyone is important. I would not want to live a life where parents have no role to play.
Team t2: Would you break up if your parents don’t approve?
Disha: I would try to convince them again and again.
Abhinanda: Once I was seeing this guy and my father called him a cockroach! Tai boley I didn’t stop liking him.
Ritwik: I would like it if my family approved. Anyway, they’ll never say don’t marry this person.
Debdeep: I’ll explain my point to my family but if I am in love with her, of course I won’t quit.
Raya: There is another thing along with concern. My parents want me to get married within the same religion. My ex-boyfriend was a Christian. They used to tell me about it. But because I was deeply in love with him, it didn’t matter, I would have married him.