Dear Julia: I am a mom of an 8-month-old and use Facebook regularly. Many of my Facebook friends have babies, too — and, unfortunately, they brag about their perfect lives. I’m sorry, but when you’re up all night with a baby or struggling to get him to eat solids, the last thing you want is to log on to Facebook for some distraction and read, “I’m so excited! Joey slept from 7.45pm to 7.45am!” Or “So awesome! Jenny ate Indian food unassisted last night!” Or the humblebrag variety: “I’m a wreck, Janey has her first ear infection and she never cries, this is awful.”

Seriously?

I feel like Facebook is exacerbating competition among parents. Just because your kid sleeps through the night, eats exotic foods and never cries, doesn’t mean you’re a better parent than me. How do I deal with this without being a complete meanie? And don’t say to just “hide” the postings, because a lot of these people are my friends in real life, too, and I actually want to see other things they post. — E-xhausted Mom

Dear E: Ironically, I just clicked on my Facebook newsfeed and saw that Ivanka Trump posted yet another baby-related humblebrag: “Weight lifting two days before my due date was semicomical... let’s say that I wasn’t at my best!” This is after she tweeted photos of herself, very pregnant and very gorgeous (how is that FAIR?), in a tight black dress with fishnets and enormous bunny ears for Harper’s Bazaar, followed by later tweetbragging “Heading to work (on my due date!)” along with mentioning that she planned a micromaternity leave of two weeks. Um... I’ve had the flu for longer than that.

I’m not even pregnant and I feel completely inadequate.

“I have 100 per cent been there,” emails one of my best friends, new mom Randi Zuckerberg. She’s on maternity leave from running Facebook marketing, and if anyone understands the joys and pitfalls of “mommy-booking”, Randi does. “When I brought our son home from the hospital, I was awake for what felt like six straight weeks, struggling with nursing — and I thought I was going to have an emotional breakdown the next time I saw a friend post that their baby was ‘a precious gift from God’.”

Randi’s FB feed, understandably loaded with photos of her chipmunk-cheeked progeny, doesn’t rankle because, while her son is adorable, she emphasises both humour and honesty when it comes to motherhood’s less-airbrushed moments. Which is to say, of course, most of them (I hear).

Her expert advice? Remember that no matter what their FB status says, other moms are just trying to get through the day with a minimal level of barf, too. If a mom’s inner show-off takes over, “Don’t hold it against her or get competitive,” Randi says. “Just allow her those two minutes to proudly share, as the other 23 hours and 58 minutes of the day, she has spit-up in her hair and crushed Cheerios on her floor, just like you.”

Plus, while prior to Facebook you might not have seen your friends’ obnoxious Baby Einstein postings, you also might not have bonded over their mom-misery-loves-company frustration posts. In fact, “those same parents humblebragging are also one of the best sources of advice and support,” says Randi. “I remember posting about how someone just asked me when I was due... six weeks AFTER the baby was born. Guess what? It was the same women, the ones posting about their ‘perfect little angels’, who immediately typed words of support and encouragement.”

Don’t forget to use humour and honesty in your own posts. Sometimes people are afraid to express their true feelings — especially about motherhood — lest someone criticise them. The more honest you are, the more you empower everyone else in your FB friends list to be honest, as well.

And every time you see a gorgeous photo of their little one in a new adorable outfit, imagine the Herculean effort it took to get that snap — and the food that will be vomited all over the photographer 90 seconds later.

Julia Allison is a veteran columnist, TV personality and public speaker.

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