His Aunt Dahlia once commissioned Bertie Wooster to write an article for Miladys Boudoir on What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing. What the well-dressed woman is wearing would have offered more scope, but P.G. Wodehouse never trespassed into territory between the sheets. The closest he ever came to that was in a book title — Ice in the Bedroom. The ‘ice’ in question, however, was just a necklace, nothing steamier.
So what is the well-dressed man or woman wearing to office today? Men have less scope for variety (see box). Charles Dickens wrote in The Pickwick Papers: “Great men are seldom over-scrupulous in the arrangement of their attire.” But that’s “arrangement”: whether a bow tie goes with bow legs. Shakespeare said: “The apparel oft proclaims the man.” Mark Twain put it more bluntly: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” He was talking principally about men. An Eve without a fig leaf is like Lady Godiva without her hair (a makeshift merkin).
The feline in fashion comes courtesy Andrew Lloyd Webber. His Bustopher Jones is “the cat we all greet as we walk down the street/In his coat of fastidious black./No commonplace mousers have such well cut trousers/Or such an impeccable back.”
But when it comes to clothes, women are no commonplace mousers. “When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,/He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside./But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail,/For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.”
Consider what has recently happened at the London office of consultancy PwC. When Nicola Thorp arrived for work in flat shoes, she was told she had to have two-to-four-inch heels. Thorp promptly started a petition which quickly acquired the number of signatures required to force a parliamentary debate on the issue. She has now turned her attention to Powder and Patch: she is campaigning against women being forced to wear make-up at work. “Make-up is designed to make women look more attractive, not professional. We should ask whether employers want women to look professional or attractive at work,” she told the UK-based Telegraph Women recently.
If Thorp had been in India, would she have started a campaign against men’s beauty products? An online store is offering 1,514 of them (at last count). “Cosmetics are as much needed by men as by women. Skincare and other beauty products for men help them keep away dirt and harmful chemicals and microbes from their skin and body parts. Good body hygiene also keeps you fit and healthy. Buy beauty products for men online in India from brands like Aigner, Alfred Dunhill, Archies, Austin Reed, Avani, Bare Essentials, Braun, Bogart, Brushman, DKNY, Carolina Herrera, Burberry, Color Me and many more. Strike me pink; Mukherjee Junior’s “highly dented and painted” remark could well be unisex.
Meanwhile, what is the office “grooming” code for Indian women? ”You may wear salwaar kameez or formal shirt/trousers,” says CiteHR. “Shoes with 1.5 inch heels are standard. You may wear a pair with smaller heels or a flat pair. Stick with black/brown. Be sure your shoes are polished and that your heels are intact. Apart from your working bag, if you are carrying an additional bag, carry a black or brown one. Earrings: wear stubs or small rings. Bracelets/Bangles: You may wear either a bracelet or a bangle. Avoid wearing both. Rings: keep them simple and not chunky.”
Well, now you know why men aren’t agitating for freedom from the dress code. A hirsute male six-footer in six inch heels and a stud may aspire for higher things in life. But all he will discover is which of his colleagues is going prematurely bald.
Clothes make the man
Office dress codes for men
Shirts: As a rule, the simpler the better. White, off-white, pale and blue shirts are preferred.
Trousers: They should preferably be dark though you may wear beige and with a dark coloured shirt. Try to have at least one pair of black trousers.
Ties: To play it safe choose a traditional silk tie. No loud colours or patterns.
Socks: Choose a colour that coordinates with your trousers.
Shoes: Wear a good pair of leather shoes – black, brown or tan. Shoes must be polished every day.
Source: CiteHR