Celluloid sedative

Celluloid sedative

aap ki khatir

Director: Dharmesh Darshan
Cast: Akshaye Khanna, Priyanka Chopra, Ameesha Patel, Bhumica Singh, Suniel Shetty, Dino Morea, Anupam Kher, Lillette Dubey
4/10

Hey, it’s a rich looking film, it’s upmarket in theme, it’s located in London, it’s got a big fat Guju-Panju wedding going, and it has three sisters to also make it look like a chick flick.

But it’s also got so much deja vu that it seems that director Dharmesh Darshan wanted to tell Karan Johar he’s in fact been there, done it, ho-hum, yaaawn. And that somehow shows in the presentation, the treatment, the performances, even the music by Himesh Reshammiya (if he can hit the top of the charts with this, too, we should all just hit the ceiling).

Priyanka in Mumbai has been ditched by Dino, but is making her way to sis Ameesha’s wedding in London to Suniel, and Dino (Suniel’s best friend) will be the best man there. So, Priyanka hires Akshaye to accompany her to London as her boyfriend, just to make Dino so jealous watching them wear other — in the disco or common bedroom or while playing picnic cricket — that he will come crying into her bosom again like a newborn in its rediscovered mom’s lap.

But that would be all too simple. So, kahaani mein twist shows Ameesha giving Dino moony looks and Akshaye catching them in the act, that is, Dino saying after he got over Priyanka, he got despo about Ameesha. And Ameesha says, yeah, she had a dhak-dhak for him, too, but then has got over him now and doesn’t he know what he’s here for, and for whose wedding.

Meanwhile, Akshaye can’t get over Priyanka now, and asks for her hand instead of her wads of currency, and she just can’t believe it. No, not her luck, but his profession (statement; not dhanda).

Darshan had something going for him, but he couldn’t get over his own yawns while making the film, we suspect. If it were not for Akshaye and especially for Priyanka (total natural in her characteristics; and whatever happened to her in Krrish?), one would have thought this was a two-hour lullaby.

And what it slides down to during the wedding at the end of the film, especially the Suniel-Dino tussle, makes you wonder if it was a sleeping pill. Downright stupid? Incredibly unconvincing? Just not interested, anyone?

You feel too sedated to even get up and laugh at it.

Anil Grover

Unconvincing quests

samsara

Director: Pan Nalin
Cast: Shawn Ku, Christy Chung, Neelesha B. Vora, Kelsang Tashi, Lhakpa Tsering, Jamayang Jinpa, Sherab Sangey, Tenzin Tashi
4/10

Sex, spirituality and the scenic delights of Ladakh — Pan Nalin sure knows what sells at international award night functions, where Samsara has picked up enough awards to satisfy (hopefully) his directorial quest.

Though the spiritual and sexual quests of his character Tisha (Shawn Ku) do not lead to any satisfying or convincing conclusions, for him or the audience. The most important thing he seems to have realised after three years of continuous meditation is that even Buddha was allowed a worldly life till 29, so why not he.

So off he gallops into the beautiful arms of Pema (Christy Chung), on a sexual quest to which he gives in without much of a struggle or suffering that one actually would have expected. Though before he does that, he is taken through a rather eerie experience, where he is shown sketches of couples making love, which when reflected against the light, take the forms of skeletons.

Nalin should, however, win approving pats from feminists, for the way he portrays Pema. Bold, beautiful, questioning of the rights of the Buddhas of this world to leave behind their Yashodharas in the darkness of the night, showing a deeper insight into matters philosophical, than Tisha does, in spite of all his quests.

Deepali Singh

Destined for disaster

final destination 3

Director: James Wong
Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead,Ryan Merriman, Kris Lemche, Alexz Johnson, Sam Easton, Jesse Moss, Gina Holden, Texas Battle, Patrick Gallgher, Jody Racicot, Amanda Crew, Crystal Lowe, Chelan Simmons, Maggie Ma
2.5/10

Well, in a nutshell, everybody dies horrific deaths in the movie. A high school graduate takes photographs of her friends in a carnival rollercoaster. They die in the order in which they sat on the rollercoaster. Small details contribute to the circumstantial deaths. Two girls are scorched alive in a tanning chamber and that is within the first 15 minutes. All the artistes had to do was to portray sufficient agony and surprise at their sudden deaths, they manage to scrape through. Exceedingly bad special effects, script and camera work ensure that Final Destination 3 is not destined for anything big. By now, the producer probably wishes he was dead, and the audience hopes the director is. If only as a measure of justice. The movie should definitely die an untimely death at the box-office like its predecessors. The critic survived, we are a group of exceptionally hardy creatures it seems.

Sunayani Ganguly