Koel Mallick shows her steely side in and as arundhati

I would hate to be called a delicate girl. I am extremely hardy,” Koel Mallick tells t2 at a photo shoot at Studio 51, Brace Bridge, on a hot summer afternoon as she gears up for the release of Arundhati.

Arundhati is based on past life memories. Do you believe in past life and reincarnation?

I do believe. You have to believe in the films that you do, otherwise it will be very tough to start dancing in foreign locales from the Calcutta roads all of a sudden! I know it’s impractical but I have to believe because if I am not convinced I can never sell it to my audience. I believe in life after death, I believe that the soul never dies. So it was easy being a part of Arundhati.

Are you superstitious?

Yes! I am superstitious about a black cat crossing my road. In fact I read a lot of Brian Weiss (American psychiatrist), he is into past life regression. Everything is related to your past life. Like my mother feels very suffocated when there are too many people around. I am sure the germ is from another life. You carry your past life with you. I tried doing self-hypnosis but failed miserably!

You’ve been a part of most big-budget Tolly films. Do you take an interest in the box-office earnings?

I am very curious about the business my films do. Sometimes I ask my producer to keep the phone on inside the theatre so that I can hear the audience reaction! (Laughs) It’s been instilled in me because my father (Ranjit Mallick) was also in this profession, and he always said that this is the last profession where you can have fun! I am continuously answerable to my audience. I would hate to be called a delicate girl. I don’t feel I am delicate at all, mentally or physically. I am extremely hardy. My audience have loved me for so many years… for 11 years. I can’t detach myself easily from a film. My producers should not feel that taking me is a waste.

Since Rane, your husband, is a producer, do you share the pressure with him?

Yes, I do. I have constantly pushed myself despite the fact that most of the time I am in a fix about how to do a scene differently, because I have done so many films and the audience has seen all my expressions already. Thankfully I have evolved and matured as an actor and definitely as a human being. Now I am thorough with the technical details too. People ask me whether I am comfortable with the right angle or the left angle, but I don’t want to be rigid. I am fine with any — straight face, right face, left face... it doesn’t matter.

Pressure comes when you are very ambitious. If you want to reach the top, you will have to deal with the fear of losing it too. I have come a long way, so I don’t have any extra pressure now. Now I enjoy the pressure. Without challenge and risk, there’s no life at all. And no, it hasn’t been a cakewalk for me. I’ve had to overcome many hurdles. This is a place where no matter how friendly you are with the producers and directors, if you don’t bring back business at the end of the day you are wiped out, it’s as simple as that. There’s no room for emotional attachments.

How do you look back at 11 years of being an actress? The sweet and bitter moments…

There were times when I was sad and disheartened. The 11 years have not been very hunky-dory. But I don’t let myself be bogged down by negative emotions or when people bad-mouth me. I just brush it off and move on. That’s my nature. I am not the sort to yell back at people who have backstabbed me. I can’t get ugly.

Is there any film of yours that makes you feel bad when you watch it now?

Even if there is, I wouldn’t be talking about it. There’s one film which has not released yet, which I feel will make me cringe when it does! I think there are three-four films that I regret doing. I had thought that those films would take a different shape... but a lot of compromises were made by the producer, or the director didn’t visualise it properly. Sometimes what may sound very exciting at the script level may drag on the floor.

Apart from the director, your role and the production house, what is it that you look for when you are offered a film?

I’m quite intuitive and I like listening to my inner voice. Of course my character is most important. Most of the time what happens is that the film is big, everything is in order but my character doesn’t have anything to contribute. I have always steered clear of films where I had nothing to do.

What’s the secret of staying on top as a heroine of commercial films?

When I get a script, I like listening to every word of it. I also like making slight changes. I nag my directors a lot. My directors teach others but when it comes to me, they say ‘You are doing fine.’ I am not okay with that because I want to learn, so I nag them to teach me. I put in a lot of effort in all my films.

You attend premieres of a lot of films. Have you watched Take One?

Not yet. I really want to watch 2 States.