Winds of change

Knots and crosses

Young NRIs and second-generation desi Americans aren’t too pleased by a recent New York Times (NYT) article that talks about how young South Asians keep turning to their parents to help them get married. ‘Assisted marriages’, which are ‘love-cum-arranged’ marriages ? where parents find the willing bride/groom a prospective spouse, encourage them to get together but give them a final veto ? are apparently all the rage in the US, says the NYT, because dating is alien to Indian culture and every good brown-skinned lad and lady dreams of a Bollywood ending where instantaneous attraction leads to eternal bliss. If the world’s leading newspapers indulge in such inane cultural stereotyping, is there even any point in complaining about the stupidity of city tabloid supplements?

Great Indian debate

Indian writers, never known for their reticence, have reacted strongly to William Dalrymple’s comments (outlined in last week’s column). Pankaj Mishra fired off a steely letter to the Guardian, saying that Dalrymple would need to be “a lot more scrupulous and rigorous” if he wanted Indian readers to accept his judgments. And the Great Indian Writing Debate wears on; Siddhartha Deb, writing in the London Telegraph, takes apart the ‘Great Indian Novel’ of the Rushdie Model, criticising the best-known Indian writers for writing directionless, sprawling epics that try (and fail) to capture the complexity of our nation in one volume ? while themselves belonging to a narrow elite. In doing so, Deb falls into his own trap, trying to gather all Indian writers under one umbrella. The saddest thing about this whole long-winded discussion is that these gifted writers could have spent all this time writing their books.

Iranian-born Shohreh Aghdashaloo (of House of Sand and Fog fame), one of the fastest rising stars in Hollywood, is to star in X-Men 3 as an Indian doctor, Kavita Rao, inventor of a serum that removes mutants’ powers.

Superman in the sky

Superman exists ? and he’s Serbian. Hundreds of people in the town of Ljubovija have reported a costumed and cloaked flying person soaring above buildings and changing directions in mid-air. The police have nothing to say on the subject ? I would suggest going through phone books, looking for people named Klarko Kentic.

Target missed

Flying high

Indian runners are causing panic at Balmoral Castle, UK, invading the lawns and repeatedly setting off security alarms. This isn’t causing much diplomatic tension, though, because these runners are ducks, bought by Prince Charles to control garden pests. It’s been a high-crime week for animals ? in Colombia, a cow was arrested and put in jail for causing a traffic accident. The solution comes from India, of course ? UP authorities intend to use lions to fight crime in Etawah district. Conservationists say this is the stupidest scheme they’ve ever seen, because criminals will use the lions for target practice.

AWARD OF THE WEEK

To comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Ali G, who interrupted Pamela Anderson’s dogs’ wedding in Malibu by rising out of the sea on an inflatable turtle and then rugby-tackling her.