Jaana tha Japan…
That night, the PM dropped the demonetisation speech on the nation and left on a three-day trip to Tokyo, with a stopover at Bangkok. The reaction on the ground chang-ed from initial disbelief to outrage to panic. Twitter clocked 6,50,000 tweets the first 24 hours. Suddenly, the 500 and 1000-rupee notes became plain paper. A father in Bihar, whose daughter’s wedding was coming up, suffered a heart attack. Addressing the diaspora in Japan, the PM said, “Ghar mein shaadi hai,” and then twiddled his thumbs, gave a knowing smile and added, “Lekin paise nahin hain”.
Other side-effects: Speechophobia became a thing. On November 9, Trump won the US elections. Indians who couldn’t vent on leaders closer home turned on him.
Death by ATM
India has 2 lakh ATMs. As per a 2015 Financial Access Survey by the IMF, 19.7 ATMs per 1,00,000 adults. Post “the announcement”, 90 per cent of these were recalibrated. From Any Time Money they were now all about Any Time No Money. PayTm was in. More than 80 people died in ATM queues. Afraid of forfeiting their spot, fellow queuers watched. It was a willing suspension of humanity.
Other side-effects: Atmahatya has since been spelt ATMahatya.
Jai Jugaad
There was a 1,000 per cent increase in train bookings. A lot of air tickets were also purchased with a cancel-and-collect-refund strategy. On the Drukair flight to Delhi, when Indians realised that the Bhutanese were still willing to accept the now illegal tenders they emptied the duty-free cart. The Centre changed tack from “war on black money” to “war on all currency” and turning cashless.
Other side-effects: Chhattisgarh farmers crushed their produce under trucks after getting 50 paise a kilo for their yield. Farmer suicides increased. Ever distant, the PM continued to speak of himself in third person.
Reverse Gear
The first 50 days saw 74 notifications, etc. from the RBI and the Centre combined. You had to give a “satisfactory explanation” if you wanted to deposit anything upwards Rs 5,000. The public had to give the government the finger, for the indelible ink of course, to check money exchangers. There were moral reversals. About 200 bank employees were found to be indulging in illegal activities.
Other side-effects: Speaking at a function recently, the FM said: “As far as remonetisation is concerned, the situation is almost normal...” Watch out people!
