I recall an evening several years ago when a friend announced to a group of us that she had arranged a marriage for her daughter, Anita. Hearing the news, all of us were rather taken aback. Both mother and daughter were highly educated and sophisticated, and were not at all the type of people to go in for arranged marriages. They had spent many years abroad, absorbing Western attitudes and values and, in general, had little to do with Indian tradition. How then, we wondered, were they embarking on an arranged marriage? However, what really stunned us was that the marriage had been arranged through an advertisement! “Why should you be so surprised?” asked my friend. “After all, Anita wants to get married, but she does not have the opportunity to meet many young men. Answering an advertisement seemed to be an excellent solution to the problem.”

Now several years down the line, I realise how pragmatic and sensible my friend was. That she had contemplated arranging a marriage for her daughter may have been surprising but not, as I now realise, the manner in which she had set about finding a suitable young man. After all, if one can find a suitable bridegroom through the friends of friends of friends, which is the usual way, in what way is it different to locate him through the medium of advertising? The deluge of matrimonial advertisements in the papers is ample evidence of the huge numbers of people who think this way!

Which is why I was by no means startled or even surprised when, the other day, I heard of a couple that had got married, having met and courted via the Internet. This, the younger members of my family tell me, is not particularly unusual any more. There are several websites that match couples and effect, they hope, happy marriages. As science advances, technological conveniences have taken over our daily lives, our way of communicating and our personal relationships. Times have changed, and so have our mindsets. No longer do such alliances take one aback, nor should they.

Eligible young men and women who want to get married need to have a means of meeting and perhaps getting to know each other, and ensuring, to the extent possible, that they are sufficiently well matched to spend a life time together. Whether through traditional ways, or advertising or dating services, including through the Internet, what matters is finding a way of managing that first meeting. Lacking the amount of investigation of families that usually goes into a traditionally arranged marriage, perhaps the risks are greater. But more often than not, as in the case of my friend’s daughter, who is still blissfully happy, the chances are that the gamble will pay off. And isn’t that what marriage is, anyway?