I have often suspected that where visits and the old are concerned, surprises provide more fun to those who plan them than to those who receive them. Which is why so many such surprise visits tend to boomerang. While the surprise-givers are filled with gleeful anticipation of a delighted reaction, the surprise-receivers greet the event with dismay, albeit well concealed!

The case of Madhavi is typical. Her son, Ashish, who lives in America, and has not been back home for a couple of years, decided to give her a surprise by arriving with his family on her 70th birthday. This involved a great deal of planning on the part of both Ashish and his family here. Several people had to be taken into confidence, which meant that there was always the danger of someone letting the cat out of the bag. For the entire month that it took to iron out the details, there were whispered chats and innuendoes between members of the family and friends. As all conspiracies are, it was nerve wracking, but also titillating and exciting. Astonishingly, considering the number of people in the know, the surprise visit did stay under wraps, and till the very last moment, Madhavi had no inkling of her son’s impending arrival.

But how was the surprise received? With loud cries of joy? Sadly, not at all. When on the fateful morning, Ashish arrived with his wife and children in tow, they were greeted not with delight, as they had anticipated, but with stunned silence. Seeing her son so unexpectedly on her doorstep seemed to send Madhavi into a state of shock. Her rather extreme reaction left little doubt that the surprise had backfired!

Surprises, both the giving and the receiving of them, are strictly for the young. I know that my mother, for instance, has made it clear for some time now that she does not want to be surprised by the arrival of people. “It catches me on the wrong foot and leaves me feeling uncomfortable,” she complains.

What bothers her is that, with no warning, she cannot prepare adequately for the visit of a guest. The room is not ready, the bed is not made, the fridge is not stocked... While, when she was younger, she was able to take such matters in her stride, now having to deal with such practicalities suddenly leaves her flustered and fretting and at the mercy of unreliable help.

Not even a surprise visit from a member of the immediate family, where there is no formality, is welcome. “Even with a son or daughter, I prefer to be prepared,” she insists. “But, apart from this, I resent being deprived of the pleasure of savouring the prospect of a visit. I enjoy planning what to do and what to cook for them.”

Perhaps we need to restrict our surprises to presents and other things.