My friends, Mira and Mahesh, have just returned from a three-month stay in the United States. Or, to be more accurate, a three-month stay in Columbia. Virtually every middle class family has a child in the US and these friends were no exception. With a son living in Columbia and two grand-children whom they had not seen for a couple of years, they had decided to make the journey to America. Their excitement at the prospect was palpable, the exorbitant fares justified in their mind by the fact that they would be able to spend time with the family, even while they enjoyed the many attractions that America offered.

But the trip didn’t turn out as expected. “Never again,” they were to say when they returned. They did see something of the family, but very little. Both their son and daughter-in-law went to work, each setting out very early. The two children were at school and involved in all sorts of other activities after they returned. This meant that Mahesh and Mira were left to their own devices for most of the time in unfamiliar surroundings, compelled to follow a routine that was not of their choice.

Worse, they were trapped. Without a car, and virtually no public transport available, there was nowhere that they could go, other than for walks in the admittedly beautiful surroundings. “There is a limit to how much you can walk, or see television, or read a book,” complained Mahesh. “And anyway, why do we have to travel all the way to the US in order to do this?” “I don’t do any cooking at home but I would try to help out by producing a meal,” said Mira, “It helped kill time, but most of the day hung heavy and I really missed my friends.”

Only over the weekends did they feel that their trip had been worth it. The children were at home, and their son and daughter-in-law went out of their way to make their time enjoyable. They would drive them to either Washington or Baltimore to see the sights, make arrangements to take in a show, take them shopping and so on. “They really took a lot of trouble over us, and it was great fun” say Mahesh and Mira, “but in the final analysis, how many weekends were there?”

Mira and Mahesh are by no means unusual. I have met several couples who have reacted in the same way. The thought of spending a long holiday with a son or daughter in America is seductive. Apart from the emotionally satisfying aspect of reuniting with the family, there is also the excitement that accompanies a trip abroad. Unfortunately, the reality belies the anticipation. As most visiting parents have discovered, there is nothing more boring than small town America. But even the allure of a big city cannot alleviate the tedium of months spent without family, friends and familiarity.