My husband and I have begun to get a bad reputation — for always being on time! This is becoming a source of embarrassment, and we need to change our ways, but it is a generational fault and habit dies hard. Recently, for instance, we were invited to a dinner party. The time we were asked for was 8.30 p.m. and taking this literally, we arrived on the dot. Clearly, we were not expected till much later. The host was taking a shower and the hostess was in the nether regions of the house, still putting the last minute touches to the dinner that was to be served eventually, eventually being the operative word.
Embarrassed at embarrassing our hosts, we apologised profusely for being the first to arrive. The next guests arrived three quarters of an hour later, and by the time the entire party (other than one couple) had assembled, it was 10.30. This last couple finally put in an appearance an hour later. Sorry to be late, they said, not looking at all sorry, but we had to go to a couple of cocktail parties before we came here.
It made me wonder whether this was the reason why everyone was so unpunctual. Was it a matter of social protocol? Could it be that unless you come late, people might think that you had no other engagements that evening, which would make you seem unpopular and unimportant? Or is it a vicious circle? Knowing that dinner will only be served after 11 p.m., guests arrive late. But because they arrive late, dinner is served after 11 p.m.
In the meantime, while we waited patiently for dinner, we were plied with more drinks than was necessary. The rules of hospitality demanded this. As a consequence, by the time dinner was served at almost midnight, the food that the hostess had taken so much trouble over, could have been fodder as far as the guests were concerned. And within minutes of the dessert being served, the exodus began.
Why is it that we Indians are always chronically late? Chronically late for everything — social get-togethers, plays, concerts, even movies. We went to a dance performance recently that was due to start at 7 p.m. The invitations warned that seating would be on a first-come, first-served basis, implicitly suggesting that the audience be punctual. But all us who arrived by 6.45 p.m. in order to be seated comfortably before the commencement of the performance ended up by being penalised. The minutes ticked by as we waited for the doors of the hall to be opened. Seven ’clock came and went. The numbers of people waiting grew. Still there was no sign of the performance beginning. Finally, the doors were opened at 7.20 and the show eventually began at 7.40. No apologies were offered: it was taken for granted that since an unpunctual start was the order of the day and therefore acceptable, no explanations were necessary. The dances were excellent, but the enjoyment of them was soured by having to cool one’s heels for so long.
Nor is this an isolated example. We see repeated instances of disregard for punctuality but those of us who complain are the ones out of sync. It is, after all, the Indian way of life.
