I remember many years ago, my son, who then was living in London, complaining bitterly that visitors from India always expected him to go all the way to Heathrow to pick them up. Many of these visitors were mere acquaintances or friends of friends who, mindful of the then prevailing shortage of foreign exchange, would ask to be put up. “We are happy to have them stay,” he grumbled, “but to expect us to drive all the way to the airport to meet them or see them off in order to save money is just not acceptable. It’s not as though they are immediate family or close friends.” Yet, more often than not, this was what he had to do.

In fact, I could have told him that this unreasonable expectation had nothing to do with saving money. It was just Indians being Indians. It has always been the accepted practice that guests are met and seen off at airports and railway stations. For hosts to fail to do so is believed to show a lack of hospitality. So strong is this custom that airports and stations are crowded with people who have no business to be there other than to see off or meet relatives and friends.

However, the tradition of meeting guests is on the decline. Many deterrents have caused this. People have begun to travel much more frequently, traffic is impossible and journeys are time consuming, charges at airports and stations have increased substantially, non-passengers frequently are not allowed in and have to stand and wait outside, braving sun, rain or mosquitoes, there are arrangements for pre-paid taxis. But if the numbers are less, people still crowd entrances, waiting patiently for a first glimpse of a relative or friend walking out of the arrival gate.

It is one thing if people wish to meet their friends and relatives or see them off. It is quite another if they are expected to do so. Yet so entrenched has the custom become that there are innumerable cases of people who take umbrage at not being met. I recently met someone who arrived in the city with his family. They were due to stay with his cousin. Perhaps, since he was making the journey specifically to meet this cousin, he felt justified in reacting in the way he did at not being met. He was so hurt and angry by his cousin not having come personally to the airport that he cut short his stay abruptly and returned home. “I have never been so slighted,” he remarked. “I don’t have to put up with such insults.” His cousin, on the other hand, having moved with the times, was bewildered by his reaction. “It’s not as though I left him stranded,” he said. “ After all, I sent the car to bring him and his family home.”

This is perhaps an extreme case, but it does show that though situations may change, customs take longer.