A friend, who was leaving shortly for London to be on hand when her daughter produced her first baby, was a bundle of nerves, terrified of how she was going to cope with the new baby. “Just do what your mother did for you when you had your first child,” we suggested. But this advice failed to comfort her. “Everything has changed so much,” she said, “ and I really don’t know what to do.”

I could understand her anxiety. Where once rearing a new baby was something that came naturally — at least to the new mother’s mother — today, the art of baby-care has been raised to the status of a science. Stringent rules have been laid down, and to make matters more difficult, these change from the first baby to the second! This friend was right in believing that her mother’s methods would no longer be acceptable, if only because the pundits had decreed otherwise.

Each generation has its own guru, and the diktats of this guru are followed to the last letter. My mother’s generation believed in Truby King, who subscribed to the view that all babies were attention seekers, and just plain ‘naughty’ when they cried. Why should mothers, asked King, throw away their time and leisure by frequent useless nursing? His suggestion was a strict feeding rota biased in favour of the mother’s welfare. Penelope Leach, the guru of my daughter’s generation, painted a different picture. Motherhood, according to her, was a full-time occupation, where mothers made themselves constantly available to provide attention, encouragement and sustenance to their babies. In between these two came Dr Spock, with my generation taking what he said as gospel.

I remember when I had my first child. In true Indian tradition, I went to my mother to be fed all sorts of items that are strictly prohibited today. Ignorant of today’s taboos, I blindly followed whatever she said. And, indeed, what she said would appal most modern mothers. She believed that the cause of all ills was wind, and her standard remedy was gripe water, which today is absolutely forbidden! Her other fetish was chills, and even in the middle of summer, doors and windows would be shut and the baby over-clothed, a procedure totally contrary to today’s belief in fresh air and under-clothing.

She appeared to break every one of today’s rules. But far from anything dire happening to any of her grandchildren, they thrived. The truth is that babies are tough and their mothers and grandmothers have an intuitive knowledge of what to do with them. As someone once said, it is not the babies that have the problems but the parents. Perhaps my friend can take consolation from the fact that whatever she does, or does not, instinct will guide her and her grandchild will be fine.