1.Your best friend’s husband is having an affair with another of your friends. Would you …

a) Confront the other friend?

b) Tell your best friend imme- diately?

c) Ask your friend to find another partner to make her husband jealous?

d) They are adults. Leave them alone?

2.Your terminally-ill father -in-law wants you to have a child immediately. But that would ruin your career plans. Would you …

a) Compromise because you are very fond of him?

b) Put your career on hold?

c) Express your unwillingness and try to talk him out of it?

d) Leave everything to your husband?

3. Your son and nephew are in the same class and there’s rivalry between the two. Would you …

a) Think that these are childish things and should be ignored?

b) Bend yourself backward to make sure that this does not affect the relationship between adults?

c) Teach your son to love his cousin?

d) Be amused? After all, competition is a healthy thing.

4. Your parents want you to get married before completing your studies, because your father will retire soon. You don’t want to. Would you …

a) Refuse to get married before finishing your studies?

b) Get married to please them?

c) Tell them that you can get married but only to someone who would allow you to pursue your career plans?

d) Ask a relative to speak on your behalf?

5. You feel unhappy with the way your friend snubs his fiancee or ridicules her in public. Would you …

a) Have a frank talk with your friend and tell him what you feel?

b) Make fun of him in public, so that he gets a taste of his own medicine?

c) Speak with your friend and his fiancee separately, explaining the gravity of the situation?

d) Ignore all this. Why should you meddle?

6. Your daughter-in-law goes off to her parents’ place every now and then. Would you …

a) Ask her to spend more time at your place?

b) Talk to her and find out why she does that?

c) Put pressure on your son to probe the reality of their relationship?

d) Turn a blind eye to everything?

7. Your mother is very possessive and keeps you on a tight leash. You are suffocated, but you don’t want to hurt her by defying her constantly. Would you …

a) Submit by thinking that a mother’s love cannot be explained?

b) Get her to divert her attention elsewhere? She’s doing this because she has too much time in hand.

c) Leave home and move to a different city?

d) Hurt her for the time being by rebelling? She’ll come round with time.

8. Your son and daughter-in-law, working professionals, dump their baby on you all the time. You feel that you need a break. Would you …

a) Have a frank discussion and let them know?

b) Ask them to employ a domestic help?

c) Work out your own schedule? Go out, come in at your will. They’ll take the hint.

d) Wait for the child to grow up a bit?

9. Your girlfriend is too dependent on you. You want her to be more liberated. Would you …

a) Talk to her about it frankly?

b) Consider yourself lucky for having such a girlfriend?

c) Try in your own way to boost her confidence level first?

d) End the relationship? You can’t bear such clinging vines.

10. You are married. But an ex-flame wants to rekindle an old intimacy. You are attracted. Would you …

a) Cut off all ties with the new person? You are afraid to remain in touch.

b) Feel good about the love interest, but not take it further?

c) Have a frank talk with your husband/wife?

d) Enjoy an affair on the sly?

Scoresheet

1. a) 3 b) 4 c) 2 d) 1
2. a) 4 b) 3 c) 2 d) 1
3. a) 2 b) 4 c) 3 d) 1
4. a) 1 b) 2 c) 4 d) 3
5. a) 4 b) 2 c) 3 d) 1
6. a)1 b) 2 c) 3 d) 4
7. a) 3 b) 4 c) 2 d) 1
8. a) 2 b) 3 c) 1d) 4
9. a) 3 b) 2 c) 4 d) 1
10. a) 4 b) 3 c) 2 d)1

The scoring reflects your premium on family values, how much you are pre-pared to bend yourself to keep the structure and cohesion of the family intact. Even if you end up compro-mising yourself. At the same time, there’s no glory attached to being a complete martyr. There are some tricky situations where you can strike a balance between your personal happiness and the greater good. The scoring follows this rationale:

30 – 40 >> You are an incredible family person. The problem with you is that you are ready to compromise yourself to the point
of making yourself a victim. Beware
of backlash.

20 – 29>> Congratulations! Seems you have struck the right balance between personal and collective happiness.

10 – 19>> Your intentions may be good. But this may land you in trouble. Families are all about trade-offs and bargains. Honesty and frankness may not take you far.

0 – 9>> You are too individualistic. You know your mind and you may care about the people you love, but your ideas are not likely to foster family values.