Behaviour at work has a direct impact on how people are perceived by their colleagues and ultimately the likelihood of their career advancement. The workplace is loosely defined as ‘a network of people who interact with machines to provide services or manufacture products.’ This statement abstracts the ‘human element’ from the workplace. However, working women and men are also ‘emotional beings’ coming from different backgrounds.
Gender difference plays a definite role in the way men and women perform at work. They tend to approach and solve problems differently. Brain function studies also support the fact that women have a flair for superior organisational and communication skills. Hence, they tend to discuss and solve problems collaboratively. The same doesn’t hold for men. Based on gender differences, stereotypes are easily constructed in the workplace. The notion that “all women fantasise about love and friendship, and all men strategise for sex and power” or that women are “more emotional and sensitive” and men “more stable and resilient” are harmful stereotypes.
And although the ‘bottling of anxiety’ is supposed to be detrimental to mental health, an ‘emotional’ person in the traditional power construct is perceived as a symbol of ‘weakness’. One outburst however justified and seemingly necessary for the person at the time, sets the level for how they are perceived thereafter. And it is difficult to reverse the harm once colleagues have formed an opinion.
That’s why the ‘boys don’t cry’ generalisation works well in the workplace. Rather than blowing up, some prefer to stifle the anger and write a well-worded letter of complaint to a senior person. And some people prefer not to ‘be themselves’ when at work. Calculated and strategic, their personality is modified for each environment. The ‘cool and calm worker’ may not be the same person when he or she gets home. Work-related anxiety is released elsewhere where their colleagues or seniors can’t see it.
People also exercise discretion while vouching personal information at work. Most people spend more time with colleagues than they do with their family or friends due to modern day work conditions. However, there are also the ‘baring soul types’ who have a share-it-all attitude. Intimate information like “I had a dreadful weekend, to the kids ruined the picnic, and I had an argument with my partner over my suspicions of an affair. What should I do?” is often shared with co-workers. This may seem like an innocent gesture to offer personal insight to inspire trust and friendship amongst co-workers, but sometimes co-workers aren’t your ‘friends’. And information could well be exploited.
We’ve all been warned about ‘mouthing off’ at drunken office parties. Alcohol loosens the usual workplace ‘discretion’. And some can’t wait for a drink to supply running commentaries about the people or conditions where they work. The ‘keep-it-to-yourself types’ however may agree with the commentators. By not reacting, the silent types provide tacit approval for the remarks but of course are far less likely to get into trouble. By saying nothing, they can sit back and watch others bring themselves down.
There might be no distinction between the productivity and career prospects of a person who keeps to himself and reins in emotions compared to that of a completely open, ‘this is really me’ person. It comes down to the environment. Perhaps the best advice is to ‘be aware.’
If you find you are the odd-person-out and that this could seriously impact your job prospects then it’s time to do that job search!
