Hard work, dedication and long hours at work speak for themselves. Come promotion time, your boss will see you’re the best candidate for a leadership position, right?

Most women think so, and then watch as those big promotions go to those more willing to toot their own horns at work — often men.

According to Ronna Lichtenberg, president of management-consulting firm Clear Peak Communications and author of Pitch Like a Girl, How a Woman Can Be Herself and Still Succeed, self-promotion is important for both sexes. “Everyone needs to let other people at work know they can tackle new challenges and deserve the support they need to get things done,” she says. “That support can range from a higher salary to a more important job to just being positioned properly.”

Self-promotion?

According to Lichtenberg, self-promotion is “taking the lead to let other people know about good things you have done, can do and are doing. There is a way to do it and it should be thoughtful of and sensitive to other people’s feelings, which like many other people, I call pitching.”

This distinction is important to make, because many women feel that the only way to promote oneself is to be obnoxious and strain relationships, says Lichtenberg. “Also, they worry that people won’t like them if they are seen self-promoting too aggressively, and research suggests it’s true — in fact, other women can be particularly harsh critics,” she adds.

Be confident

Fear of being judged can lead to insecurity, which makes it hard to self-promote. But faking confidence is almost as good as feeling it. “No one else knows your heart is pounding and your knees are a little wobbly,” says Lichtenberg. “After forcing yourself to do it a few times, you’ll find it gets easier.”

Using strengths

So how do you self-promote while remaining true to yourself?

First, remember that not all women are the same. “Some women have what I would call a ‘blue’ style, which means she focuses on tasks and doesn’t look for a lot of person-to-person connection at work,” Lichtenberg explains. “A blue woman wants to get to the point, writes emails without greetings or salutations and believes in win / lose.”

“A ‘pink’ woman likes to know the person she is doing business with, believes that bonding can smoothen the work flow and believes in win / win,” she adds.

Because of the differences among women and the various people they’re pitching, there isn’t a single right way to do it for everyone, other than learning about your individual strengths and how to leverage them, Lichtenberg explains. “The key, though, for pink, blue and striped styles is to think about the other person’s needs in a way that makes it possible for them to hear your own needs,” she says.

Clear vision

“Spend some real time on what I call ‘visioning’ — being clear about what you really want,” Lichtenberg advises. “From there, you can move to really understanding the value of what you are offering in the marketplace. The more homework you do about what Me Inc. offers, how it stacks up to the competition and how you can improve the value of what you offer, the better off you will be when you have to quickly pitch yourself to someone else.”

Show interest

The women best at self-promotion are those who are interested in others and show it by starting conversations. “They know that sharing something about themselves is a way to connect to other people and if done correctly, doing someone a favour r ather than a disservice,”she explains.