Nafisa Ali: Embracing age with elan

When I am back home after a day’s work, I settle into my favourite chair with a cup of tea and reach for the remote. I don’t know why and how, but whenever I switch on the telly, the newscaster reads a couple of lines and then announces a “break”. Then I am reduced to viewing commercials.

One commercial that caught my eye was of a hair dye and goes somewhat like this — a “middle-aged” lady blows out the candles on her birthday cake and throws a teaser at the viewers, “Guess my age.”

We in India, nowadays, seem to be overtly concerned with age. And the parameter to measuring age seems to be the “grey scale” of the crowning glory.

No one can hold back time, it moves and moves in one direction only. I don’t think looking like something is being so. I have seen and met many youths, who look tired with life. On the other hand there are many not-so-young people bubbling with life.

I remember an interview given by Nafisa Ali years ago. A beauty pagent winner, swimming champ, jockey, actor and activist, she was asked about her decision to not cover her greys. Ms Ali replied that she saw no reason to camouflage what was a natural process and believed in greying gracefully.

I deeply admire the youthful spirit of people like her, who look at the issue from a mature perspective, without breaking into sweat.

I remember meeting one such person many years ago. I was on a visit to Pokhra in Nepal, with my wife. After visiting several places during the day, we decided to take a break. It was late afternoon. We entered a restaurant and were happy to see that it had a sprawling lawn by the side of the lake, where several tables and chairs were placed. It was a perfect place to relax our fatigued legs and enjoy a cup of tea.

As we walked onto the lawn we realised that all the tables were taken. Then we noticed a table occupied by a lone lady. We walked up to her and sought her permission to sit there.

And she agreed. Thanking her, we collapsed into the chairs. Later on, we struck up conversation. We came to know from the lady that she was from Switzerland and it was her first visit to Nepal.

The handsome lady appeared to me to be a septuagenarian. I asked her about her companions. “Oh! I am travelling alone. I lost my husband five years ago. Now, I do not have any family. Since my husband’s death, I have taken to travelling,” came the reply.

I was doubly surprised to know that the sweet lady was actually running into her 80s and not 60s, as I guessed earlier.

It was so unusual for me to see that a person of her age had so much zest for life and that she travelled to unknown places, across the globe, to explore places and that too by herself.

I could not help but compare her with the women in our society.

Travelling to distant and unknown places alone is a possibility that may not even appear to them in their vaguest dreams.

At her age, most people in our country would “prefer” to spend their lives confined to their homes with younger members of the family holding their hands, often to steady, and support them.

So, do you think it is all in the head?

Are people in our country reminded of their age catching up with them so many times that they actually start feeling and behaving in a particular fashion?

Do people in their 50s, when they become a grandparent, suddenly start growing older at a faster pace?

Are we prompting our senior citizens to grow all the more “senior”, infirm and dependent from an early age? I think it is high time we gave a serious thought to this matter.

Because of good medical facilities and a better lifestyle, India’s going to have a large population of people in their 60s, 70s and 80s, who will be physically in good shape. Most of them would possibly be living by themselves as the children would be working in different cities across the globe.

Thus, we are going to have a big and sizable brigade of senior citizens with nothing much to do. These are going to be people who would be well qualified, retired from good posts either in service or business, financially well-to-do and with a big bundle of experience.

Some of the experience will be of no use because of change in the background and a little of that experience that will be evergreen and good for application any day.

I strongly feel that institutes like Dignity Foundation (www.dignityfoundation.com) that channelize the experience and energy of senior citizens in a positive manner should be replicated everywhere.

The sudden appearance of the same hair dye ad, flashed on the screen again, breaking my thought chain and bringing me back into the present moment.

The only difference that my eyes could see in the ad this time, was that the face of the model, morphed into the one I met at Pokhra.