A TV grab of Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh in Parliament on Tuesday. (PTI)

New Delhi, Aug. 3: The government had insisted on Parliament discussing “inflationary pressure”; some in the Opposition obliged by spouting a mountain of gas.

Sharad Yadav justified skirting issues of substance in his speech during the Lok Sabha price debate: after all, a serious speech wouldn’t be reported by a media obsessed with girls and glamour.

“Kisi heroine ka thumka laga ya koi maaldar larki bhaga le gaya to bus din-raat wohi chalega TV par (If an actress shakes her hips or a rich man elopes with a girl, TV will run that day and night),” the Janata Dal (United) leader rued in the House.

Whether that qualified as laughing gas would be a matter of taste, but it must have amused the government, which was keen to avoid a public roasting on the sensitive subject of rising prices. So much so that it had yesterday replaced “price rise” with the euphemistic “inflationary pressure” as the topic for the debate.

Sharad picked up from where he had left off a few years ago when, speaking against the women’s reservation bill, he had scoffed at modern-day urban Indian women as parkati aurat (bob-haired women). Today he complained that it had become difficult to tell the girls from the boys in Delhi’s upscale Khan market.

He then focused on corruption, the media and cricket, even dragging in the horse Mahendra Singh Dhoni had mounted as a groom.

Sharad refused to waste his time on the prices of kerosene or vegetables, recalling that on the day the Opposition had shut down India over rising prices, the news channels were busy interviewing Dhoni’s “ghora”. The cricket captain had got married the previous night.

He swiftly moved on to corruption in the Commonwealth Games, mentioning how even excellent roads had been re-laid and the whole of Delhi dug up unnecessarily. “In front of my house, they have dug up a well-laid footpath… as if they have to bury dead people there.”

True to form, he spared agriculture minister Sharad Pawar any criticism for the policies that sent food prices skyrocketing. Instead he took a dig at Pawar’s cricketing engagements.

“Cricket ka kaam bahut lamba-chaura hai… unka bojh kuchh kam kiya jana chahiye (cricket is a heavy-duty job… his burden should be lightened),” he said.

The other two Yadav stalwarts, Mulayam Singh and Lalu Prasad, made speeches that were a mix of the serious and frivolous.

Mulayam said: “We can manage our food but the real crisis is faced by the poor on the street. And there… (pointing towards the Treasury benches) people are mala-maal (rolling in money). From the Commonwealth Games alone, Rs 40,000 crore has been looted.”

He attacked the Centre for unleashing the CBI on him and Lalu Prasad when those who stashed their money in Swiss banks were living comfortably. “You put my son in jail. The girl who has married my son Akhilesh… she too is under the CBI scanner. Put her in jail too.”

But he also asked why thousands of tonnes of wheat were rotting in government godowns when the poor had nothing to eat. “Don’t create a situation when the poor will start looting your godowns,” the Samajwadi Party leader warned.

Lalu Prasad locked horns with BJP leader Sushma Swaraj, accusing her of wasting the opportunity to attack the government by getting tied up in statistics.

Just before the House was to reassemble after the lunch break, Lalu Prasad accosted Sushma and asked why she had not spoken of the people’s miseries.

Sushma retorted: “Do you listen to anything? I have used statistics but also highlighted people’s miseries. Rabri Devi ke siwa aapke dimag mein aur kuchh rehta hai (is there ever anything on your mind except Rabri Devi)?”