Types of people you meet at a Diwali taash party

AT THE TABLE

  • Published 19.10.17
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AT THE TABLE

Shuffler: Every taash party will have a person who is obsessed with shuffling cards to precision. And not only do they know how to do that, they are also the ones who know the game surprisingly well. 
Spotted: Shuffling #LikeABoss just like the James Bond casino scenes!

poker worm: He is the type who takes the game way too seriously. He is focused on reading minds and thinks a lot before showing his card. He follows superstitions and probably ends up turning the table upside down if he loses. 
Spotted: ‘Khelo na yaar, focus!’ is what you would hear him say. 

Kangana Ranaut in Simran

luck by chance: If you have watched Kangana Ranaut-starrer Simran, you already know what we mean. This person has Lady Luck by his/ her side because in spite of being a beginner they will be winning jackpots! 
Spotted: Laughing hysterically out of happiness and cheering with a ‘Yes! Yes!’ 

the noob: This person will test your patience by asking time and again about the rules of the game. And if you try making the person agree to a rule that is not in his/ her favour, they will argue like a know-it-all. #Gasp
Spotted: Wondering how an Ace is bigger than a king! And also being clueless about his turn. 

the unputdownable: No matter what, this person is a sucker for any card game and probably has spade and hearts running through his veins. He is the one who will make you see red by winning any card game. 
Spotted: Sipping on whisky, puffing hookah and playing like a boss. 

BEYOND THE TABLE

freeloader: Diwali, Holi or birthday, the occasion doesn’t matter to this person because all they are bothered about is the free food and tipple. They know nothing — Jon Snow-style — when it comes to Poker, but ask them about the menu and they’ll flash ready recos! 
Spotted: Stuffing the face with sweets or binging on something or the other... and when Channa mereya is played he/ she would probably be thinking about chana chakna.

the ROMEO: This person gets excited about Diwali parties a week in advance. And the thing he/she is most interested in is to know which girls are attending it. He hops parties just to check out women and notice the new babe sitting in the corner, just to exchange sweet nothings with a stranger in hope of exchanging numbers and wish to get umm… lucky! 
Spotted: Being overtly friendly, striking up a conversation as though he has known you for years... AND always ready to drop you home *ahem*

gangs of gossipur: If you have been missing in action and out of touch about the happenings in the poker-party circuit, then fret not because this set of folks will feed you with all the juicy news! From who’s dating whom, to break-ups and Snapchat posts... they have it all at hand! 
Spotted: In clusters with fellow gossipmongers and yapping away. 

The social butterfly: “Hiiiiiiii! How are you?” and “Hey, what’s up” is what he/she says even before entering the house properly. 
Spotted: Taking a series of selfies in varied poses — pout, fish gape, duck face — each for Snapchat, Insta or FB stories. They are most likely to be found where the light naturally has a ‘warm’ filter for the best picture!

DJ WALEY BABU: No party is complete without music and this person is usually the designated DJ who keeps the party people updated with the latest party tracks played on his phone. Saavn, Gaana... he or she has all the music apps at the fingertips. 
Spotted: With the phone plugged to the charging point all the time. Would most probably say: ‘Aaj tera bhai gaana bajayega!”

The nagging aunty: Who keeps asking you when you are settling down and getting married or having babies! In spite of seeing you frequently, she will still harp on ‘how you have grown up so fast’. #EyeRoll. She might even surprise you with a rishta.
Spotted: “Beta, shaadi kab kar rahin ho? By 30, you should get married and have a child,” is her go-to dialogue. 

The snoggers: This kind will enter the party together or come solo, but will be MIA for the majority of the night. When you do get to see them, it will rarely be with their hands off each other.
Spotted: At the house corners, the balcony or a private room... never shy of PDA. 

show-off: Watch, suit or bags — this person cannot stop bragging about who (read: which brand) they are wearing. If they have been gifted a new ring with a giant diamond, they will spend every moment with that hand at an advantageous angle. Or narrating stories about how they were surprised with the ring! 

Spotted: Flaunting the Royal Bengal Tiger logo of Sabya for the umpteenth time and saying, “Oh, I couldn’t think of getting anything other than Sabyasachi for Diwali. This is the same one that Deepika was wearing...” 

TIPS AND TRICKS TO ACE POKER

Enjoy the game: The key is to remember that it’s a festive day and you are playing to enjoy the game. 
Avoid playing when upset, angry or in a bad mood: When you are not in your usual frame of mind, chances are that you won’t play your best. Co-players can take advantage of this. Do not play the game to take out your frustration because if you end up losing stakes then it will only make your mood worse. If you lose big, best to avoid a tilt and take a break and get back later!
Try not to play every hand: Playing more doesn’t mean you will win more. This is a common misconception by beginners. The more you fold, the higher your table reputation becomes. So don’t feel obligated to play every hand.
Don’t get carried away: If you have a good hand. Instead stay calm and try to get the best out of it. Remember poker is a skill game and a good hand doesn’t always mean you will win.
Bluff wisely: Although there is no limit to bluffing it’s wise not to bluff all the time because it might work against only a few people and situations. Remember that beginners usually play every hand so if you bluff too often your luck might run out.
Math is your friend: As difficult as it may seem, calculating probability is a factor in the game. So brush up on your mental math!
Spot the ‘tell’: Try to look out for involuntary gestures and facial expressions when your opponents bluff. When you do, keep it to yourself and exploit it.. don’t blurt it out for a laugh.
Play your position: The advantage of the dealer position is that you make your call last. So you already have an idea of how the rest of the table is going to react to your bets. Make use of it!
Never chase a draw: A draw is when you have 4 of the 5 cards you need to get a strong hand. For instance you get 4 hearts on the flop. A rule of thumb is you never bet big in the hope to get a 5th.
Lastly, be a sport: Choose your poison properly; a beer means more loo breaks and you lose the feel of the table. If you are winning, then do so graciously, offer a round of drink to everyone... after all it makes the person losing  feel better too!

Text: Pramita Ghosh

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