KLR’s 200m meandering pool.

The resort’s lush lawns.

A view of the villas.

The interiors of a lake-view villa.

A houseboat readies to roll out on Lake Vembanad.

The resident potter at work.

There I was with skis slapped on to my feet, skimming across the silvery surface of the Vembanad lake. The wind whipping my face; the crisp spray stinging my cheeks; adrenaline coursing through my every cell. Too good to be true? You’re darn right! Yep, I was too much of a wimp to go water skiing on Lake Vembanad in Kerala’s dazzling Kottayam district. The closest I came to feeling the spray mist my face was when I was in a speedboat ripping away from the Kumarakom Lake Resort after three glorious days of restoration.

My first impressions of the 25-acre Kumarakom Lake Resort (KLR) that nuzzles India’s largest lake? If Kerala is God’s own country, then this has to be its Beverly Hills! Rain-drenched trees stand like proud sentinels across emerald lawns. Handsome houseboats hug the shore. Canals of green water slice through the property and exquisite wooden villas bow to tradition. The only thing missing: Brad Pitt, all buffed and bronzed, striding Achilles-like across the greens to take you in his arms. All right, I’ll ‘fess up, I was missing the husband, but really, can you fault me?

Without doubt, this is honeymoon haven! The story goes that Paul John, an NRI business baron came to the village of Kumarakom on his honeymoon and lost his heart to the place. A few years later, he bought 12.5 acres of land and an equal lot of lake, and thus the Kumarakom Lake Resort (KLR) came to be.

Fifty-one heritage cottages, each painstakingly restored (some even relocated) from illams (traditional Kerala homesteads), are arrayed through the property. While some look onto the lake, others border grand gardens and the swimming pool. I fumbled with the traditional bell-lock to my very own gabled-roofed villa and crossed the padi (threshold) into a room that was a vision in wood.

With its traditional murals (hail to the Kamasutra!), brass lamps and plump pillows, it was a blend of old luxury and modern comfort. Even better was the open-to-the sky bathroom. Okay, so I didn’t have a private plunge pool like the other villas, but taking care of business was never this liberating! The treacle on the tart, however proved to be my backyard — in this case a 200-metre long swimming pool that snaked its way through 26 villas and duplex cottages.

That evening, while paddling in the pool, I met Canada-based NRI Ram Balakrishnan and his new bride, Vani. After stopovers in Munnar and Thekkady, the couple had chosen to cap their honeymoon with KLR. “Someone had advised Vani to stay away from the sea for 25 days after our wedding. So KLR fit our bill just fine,” said Ram. While superstition may have played its part in bringing the two here, satisfaction will have them return, Ram told me.

Satisfaction is indeed top priority at KLR. And at Ayurmana, its Ayurvedic spa, which is housed in a traditional nalukettu (four-sided mansion), it takes on a whole new meaning. Asa, my guide the following morning mentioned that the 200-year-old nalukettu belonged to a family of Ayurvedic practitioners. I felt cheered to think that the house was continuing with its calling. With seven treatment rooms and one salon, this womb of wellness is soaked in the traditions of the past. And since it comes with the Kerala Government’s Green Leaf Certification — authenticity you can expect.

Helming the operations is the amiable Dr Baijuraj who’s been practising Ayurveda for 18 years now. “Some guests come to KLR specifically for the treatments we offer. They sometimes stay for up to two weeks, undergoing treatments to aid weight problems, arthritis, lumbar and even stress-related ailments,” said the good doctor. Of course, I was after some doctoring of the leisurely kind and happily signed up for the famed abhayangam massage. Before I knew it, Sharin, a pretty, lithe girl smothered my skin with viscous herbal oil and then snaked her fingers up and down in a rhythmic dance. The rest I can’t remember — I was floating on some faraway cloud.

After a session with Sharin, some serious lazing was in order. So I holed up in a houseboat — KLR has two luxurious kettuvallams — and watched the real Kerala roll by. Unending paddy fields, straying cattle, local ammas giving their clothes and kids a good wash and even a colourful grotto here and there. And apart from the gentle swoosh of the water when the occasional fish breaks surface to greet the sun, the silence is stirring.

If you miss the big boat altogether, hop onto the smaller one that takes KLR guests on the daily sunset cruise. It’s a great way to mingle with your fellow vacationers — I chatted up quite a few families — and it’s one of the many freebies offered by the resort.

There’s plenty more that guests can do at the resort after they tire of looking their spouses moonily in the eye. You could indulge in a spot of fishing — with just the water, weeds and if you’re lucky, the local karimeen for company. Water babies can try banana boat rides and skiing on the lake, and those who prefer terra firma can opt for village walks and cycling trips to explore the nearby hamlet. You can even try your hand at mat-weaving and pottery. I had a go at the potter’s wheel and after three lumpish attempts, never felt prouder when I looked at that modest clay bowl.

Now a resort can pull all the rabbits from its hat, but if the food falls flat, it’s a goner! Luckily head chef Biju Mohamed and his merry men at KLR know their pastas from their payasams. While there’s a seafood speciality restaurant called what else, but Vembanad, the main restaurant, Ettukatu is housed in an ancestral home. Along with the magnificent buffets, there are nightly servings of live classical music as well as Mohiniattam and Kathakali. The menu is gargantuan and includes a large line-up of vegetarian items too. But pray, don’t load up on the lasagne. Dig into local delicacies like Travancore Chicken Fry, Ullitheyal and the fiery Meen Kuzhambu made with fresh Karimeen. And yes, the experimental dosas with pineapples, grapes and mangoes too. It’s the kind of food you relive in your dreams!

As my stay at KLR drew to a close, I recalled the words of Armelle Clarke, an elderly French lady from Brittany who I met at the resort. “Zis whol state of Karela eez like a dreenk of cockunut wateyr... so cool, so refresheeng, so goood...” I agree madame, I totally agree!

Package details:

• A member of the Small Luxury Hotels of the World group, the Kumarakom Lake Resort has a special monsoon deal on offer till September 30: book two nights and get the third free. The offer is on the garden-view villas (Rs 8,500/per night) and the meandering pool villas (Rs 10,500/night). It includes transfers from the Muhamma boat jetty or the Kottayam railway station, all meals and the option of staying one night on a houseboat.

• As KLR is also a partner hotel of the Leela Hotels, there’s a twin deal on offer. For Rs 63,000, a couple can spend two nights at KLR and two at the Leela Kovalam Beach hotel in Kovalam. All taxes are included as are meals, transfers and a night on a houseboat. Complimentary massages are also thrown in. The package deal is valid from October 1 to April 15, 2007.

For details, call KLR’s Calcutta marketing office at 2454 6895-97 or log on to www.klresort.com or e-mail at klrkol@gmail.com

Photographs of houseboat, lawns and potter by the author