My boyfriend has a split personality of sorts. Most of the times he is extremely loving and caring. He makes me feel at the top of the world. But then suddenly he is a different person. He retreats into this shell where there is no reaching him. And what is more worrying is that he tends to get violent during these times. He refuses to see a psychiatrist. What must I do? How should I deal with this?

Name and address withheld

Nothing. Actually, why don’t you go and see a shrink and try and figure as to why the hell you are still with this dolt? I cannot for the life of me understand why you would ever be in a relationship with a man who is both unstable and abusive. There are so many men out in this world so why would you be the one who is the biggest loser on the planet? So, do you want to see a shrink or shall I get you honorary membership of the Trinamool?

I am suffering from marriage-phobia, if there is a thing like that. I am in love with a guy and we have been together for five years now. I had every intention of spending my life with him. But now that our families are discussing marriage I feel like running away from everything. No matter how much I love him the very idea of marriage intimidates me. Perhaps, I am scared of losing my freedom. You might say I always have the option of remaining single but that will break hearts. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

Just stay single and fly solo as it were. There is no way people like you deserve marriage. You are like a free bird and if caged you will be intolerable and less of the world will enjoy you. So, go forth and spread your happiness in more ways than one and no one will be less the wiser! 

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous

(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)