J.K. Rowling

Harry in a nutshell

If you still haven’t read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, chances are you won’t. So here’s the story in 146 words. “Wotcher, British PM. Evil magicians are on the prowl,” said the Minister of Magic. “That’s nothing!” roared Harry many pages later. “I’m the Chosen One, and I have to kill Voldemort!” “And so,” said Dumbledore, “you’re going to take private tuitions with me.” “Meanwhile,” said Ron and Hermione, “we’ll ignore our obvious mutual lust and kiss other people.” “Whatever,” said Dumbledore. “Harry, thank you for outwitting that slimy social-climbing new professor, now we have to find and destroy five Horcruxes so you can kill Voldemort in the next book. Aaargh!” “What?” asked Harry, confused and adolescent angst-ridden. Dumbledore didn’t reply, “Muhaha!” cried Snape, “I was evil all this time, and I killed gullible old Dumby, and I’m the Half-Blood Prince! Come, Draco!” “Sorry Ginny,” said Harry, “but I’m off with Ron and Hermione to kick Death Eater ass, so we have to have a Spiderman 1 ending.”

It’s been a dismal week with riots in Gurgaon and floods in Mumbai. But Aishwarya Rai has won a British government World Diversity Champion Award. She hopes you will now stop calling her giggly and frivolous.