It can happen to the best of us. You put in hours of study, sit through numerous mock tests and yet, on D-Day, something strange happens and you cannot solve what might be the easiest of problems. Not just in the exam hall, it could happen on the football field, too. Just look at Lionel Messi's performance in Russia.

When you fail, you go numb. The shock is so great that it feels like the end of everything. Some are mad at the world, some at themselves, while some people reinvent themselves and discover a new horizon. These are the ones who take the right lessons from failure and go on to be successful.

Take it in your stride

Sayak Mitra, a student of Delhi Public School at Ruby Park in Calcutta, passed his Class XII boards with 87 per cent in 2015. He planned to become a doctor, so he appeared for a number of medical entrance exams, including the All India Pre-Medical Test and the West Bengal Joint Entrance Examination. To his great dismay, however, he did not get through. He was unable to handle the failure and broke down completely. His worried mother took him to a counsellor who suggested a number of steps that might help him recover.

And, within months, he did. Today, he is a third-year BTech student of Biotechnology at the Vellore Institute of Technology in Tamil Nadu. He was recently selected for the prestigious Khorana fellowship, which gives him the opportunity to work in any US-based laboratory for three months. Sayak has chosen to do a project on cancer biology. "I failed to be a doctor but now I'll be able to make medicines that doctors will prescribe to thousands of patients," he says.

Parents, please

Sayak was lucky because his parents were supportive and took his failure in their stride. Usually, parents invest a lot in their child's education and expect great results in return. That puts a lot of pressure on children, who develop psychological problems because parental expectations often surpass their capabilities. "When such children fail to fulfil the target set by parents, they are reminded of all the sacrifices the parents made so that he or she could get the best opportunities. Comparison with classmates, friends and relatives make the situation worse," says Dr Subhrangshu Aditya, faculty member at the Centre for Counselling Services and Studies in Self Development in Jadavpur University in Calcutta.

While parents can be a solid support system, it is you who will have to pick up the pieces and prepare to bounce back. "The very first step that will make a huge difference involves doing 'nothing'," says Manasi Gokhale, sports psychologist at Mpower, a mental health centre based in Mumbai. "Often, hasty decisions are part of our 'reaction to something'. This is similar to a reflex action - instant, not well thought or justified. Reactions are often aggressive and there is a lot of emotional baggage. On the other hand, when you allow yourself to take some time to act on a situation it can be called 'response'. Response allows assertiveness without aggression. It helps you to handle your emotions well and does not drive you towards an action that you might regret later. Response helps find solutions," she adds.

Recovery rules

Here are a few tried and tested ways to recover from the trauma.

• Accept your failure: Clear your mind and assess your methods calmly, putting aside feelings of anger or regret. Do not underestimate or overestimate your abilities. Remember that the greatest achievers also experienced failure.

• Relax and socialise: Secluding yourself doesn't help. Discuss why you might have failed with your near and dear ones. Listen to any pointers they have. Take a break, say a small vacation with a chosen few. Once refreshed, you'll be ready to be back with a vengeance.

• Get some adrenaline: Do some physical exercise; at least start walking or jogging through a different (preferably picturesque) route. The adrenaline flow will help you get going. Also keep in mind that sufficient sleep will rejuvenate you.

• Change your point of view: Stop dwelling on the past. Remember that you cannot change the past but you can build your future. Look for new avenues, assess your options and avoid the mistakes you made earlier.

• Take inspiration: Think positive. Take inspiration from great achievers who failed time and again. Put these stories down in large print and tape it to the walls of your study. Thomas Alva Edison, one of the world's greatest inventors, reportedly failed thousands of times while trying to invent the light bulb. But he said, "I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work."

That is called the power of positive thinking.