Kalamandalam Murali is one of the most renowned gurus in the world of Kathakali. He’s been with the Sarabhais at their Darpana Academy of Performing Arts in the ‘60s and was in the thick of things at the Delhi International Centre for Kathakali in the early ‘70s. He was with Bharatiya Nritya Kala Mandir in Patna for about a decade, till sculptor Sharbari Rai Choudhuri and singer Kanika Bandopodhyay coaxed him into joining Sangeet Bhavan at Bengal’s Visva-Bharati University.

Matching him step for step is wife Bhama, a danseuse herself. Bhama adjusted to life in Santiniketan and brought up her children there. Two of the Murali children ? Manoj and Manisha ? have gone on to make their mark in Bengal’s music scene.

While Kalamandalam Murali was busy putting students through their paces at Visva Bharati, Bhama opened her own school in Bolpur, almost 20 years ago. Though she’s stayed away from the stage in recent years, a generation of dancers swears by her tutelage. The Muralis are today settled in Calcutta and hopefully,July will see them on stage together for a performance that Kathakali aficionados in the city are awaiting with bated breath.

Murali:

I’ve been away from home since the age of 11 and pursued only one passion ? dance. And it was dance that took me to my second passion ? Bhama. In 1969, I received an invitation from Guru Gopinath to perform in the lead role in Ramayana. I went and met for the first time the slip of a girl who was to play the female lead ? Bhama. Over the next couple of years, professional compatibility turned into a deeper friendship. She had quite a few suitors and I recall trying my best to be very noble and pleading another’s cause! But by then, a different sense of attachment, one of belonging was already in place. I am reluctant to say I fell in love, but I knew I’d be happy spending my life with her. And after more than three decades together, I’m still happy.

My family approached hers with a proposal of marriage, but it was promptly rejected. I’d been away for too long, touring different countries with the Sarabhais. I was fed up with all the touring and wanted to settle down in India, preferably in Kerala. My political ideology ? I am a communist in the true sense of the term ? prevented me from taking a single penny from the property my family owned. What’s more, being a performer I didn’t have a steady job. Of course, Bhama’s family felt I was not the best person for her to marry. But then I joined the Bharatiya Nritya Kala Mandir in Patna; and in 1972, all obstacles removed, we married.

The best thing that Bhama has given me is my family. My ties with my parents hadn’t been that strong since I’d not stayed at home for long. But Bhama came from a very close-knit family and she recreated that for me. As a family, we are emotionally dependent on each other. We each have our professional lives, but the source of sustenance and happiness for us is family.

What I find occasionally disturbing is her lack of independence ? she has limited her world to her family. She is not worldly wise, and can’t buy a single thing by herself except clothes and crockery. Another thing that I can never get over is her ballistic approach to Bengali. She picks up random words and hurls them like missiles in the middle of conversations, totally regardless of the meaning! Bhama’s Bangla is a constant source of laughter in our family. But getting back to the topic of life and love, Bhama is the source of my inner peace.

Bhama:

My family always felt women shouldn’t dance. When Guru Gopinath made me play Sita, there was a furore. I got permission after much pleading and the deciding factor was the assurance that the dancer playing Rama and I would not touch each other! We went on to perform as romantic leads in many more dance dramas, but it was always a professional relationship. Then his family came with a proposal and I wanted to marry him ? it was as simple as that.

Right after we married, we had to spend some time apart before I joined him in Patna. It was probably then that I realised the meaning of being married. We used to write letters everyday and create a drama over missed letters. My parents would remark caustically that saving the expense on the letters would probably afford us a week’s food. And I remember the postman asking me whether my husband had a job at all, considering he had time to write each day. In fact, I still resent it when he forgets to call when he is away.

The two of us have gone through difficult times. We’ve had almost nothing to call our own, but every moment together has been worth it. There is a 10-year age difference between us and throughout, he has treated me like a child, something which has only helped to soften all the blows life sent our way. He has been a very good husband and father. I really don’t find anything about him that I’d like to change. After all these years of marriage, I should know, for I have looked closely. Our marriage has made me complete. The only thing that I grieve over is the fact that he had to give up a lot for me including his wish to settle near his family in Kerala, which did affect his career. His repute as a dancer is great, but he’d have reached unparalleled heights if he’d stayed on in Kerala.

He has never given me any reason for regret. My only complaint is the way he teases me about my Bangla. But that’s not to say that I never threw tantrums or had no pet peeves. In Patna, I’d be at the end of my tether getting him to quit his card-playing mania. And when our children were growing up, I’d forever nag him to be more attentive about their studies. He always told me to let them find their own pace and pursue their own calling. I gave in and I am so grateful to see the result today. This July, we are planning a performance together, after six long years. I am still as nervous as the first day, but also very excited at the same time. He has helped me grow as a dancer. But more importantly, he has helped me grow to be a better person. I can’t think of my life without him!

Photograph by Rashbehari Das