I get my first glimpse of the Harmony of the Seas when I arrive at Southampton on the coach from Heathrow. I get off the coach and take a few steps back, and the boarding steward helpfully tells me “Sir, the check-in area is in the other direction.” “Ok,” I reply, “but I just want to step back a bit to get the entire ship in my camera’s frame.”

“You’ll have to step back all the way to France, laddie. This ship is bloody huge,” comes the answer.

It is in fact 1,187ft long and about 2,400 crew ensure its smooth operation and, at full capacity, it can carry 5,400 passengers. It’s these kinds of stats the length of pin codes that had previously put me off cruise ships. I was just too worried about being out at sea in a crowded and claustrophobic boat.

So I steel myself and walk across the gangplank onto Deck 2 and head to the elevator that whisks me up to Deck 12 where my stateroom is.

The elevator’s Plexiglas capsule gives me my first blitzkrieg glimpse of the Harmony’s innards. In the 30 seconds that the elevator takes to rise, my jaw continues to drop. This is no boat; this feels like a posh and upmarket mall in Dubai or Singapore. I even catch a glimpse of a vintage Jaguar sports car parked on one of the decks akin to raffle podiums in malls abroad. This ship has a concept called ‘Neighbourhoods’ or themed areas and I get a glimpse of a few, namely the Royal Promenade, the Boardwalk and Central Park.

The foyer on my deck is a bit like a luxury hotel and I head towards my stateroom. It’s a little snug. I would have thought it to be slightly bigger given that it has fancy terminology like ‘Stateroom’ rather than ‘Cabin’.

But it has a balcony accessible through a French window that looks out at the ocean. Some staterooms look out into the centre of the boat and yet others have virtual balconies or a wall that is a giant screen which streams live feed from sea-facing cameras.

I am terribly hungry and word on the ship is that there is a sumptuous spread laid out at Windjammers Marketplace on Deck 16. I head there and I’m about to grab a plate and heap it at the very first counter, but then I stop and go into BBB mode — Best Buffet Boost.

This is a personal trick that I’ve developed to make the best of a huge spread. I will now share this trick in a step-by-step form:
1. I take a walk around the entire Windjammer buffet WITHOUT A PLATE.
2. As I do this, I make mental notes of what will interest me, e.g., the mini beef sliders, the pizza, the crab soup, and the roast beef with horseradish. I also make a note of what I have to steer clear of, e.g., the decorative salad counter with so many healthy options, the Indian food counter and the cold cuts counter.
3. Then, I proceed to take a plate and take small portions of what I have found interesting.

Post lunch, I set off to explore the cruise liner.

The ship is still moored to the dock but the bars that are peppered around the ship (Mast Bar, Sand Bar, Pool Bar, Wipe Out Bar, Trellis Bar, Schooner Bar, Solarium Bar, Bionic Bar, to name a few) are doing such brisk business with bartenders (and the two robo-tic arms at the Bionic Bar) shaking, stirring, pouring and muddling up to 127 signature cocktails that most passengers are already swaying as if in rough waters.

A few others who are still standing steady on the correct side of sobriety have made their way up to the Ultimate Abyss that is basically a huge tube that snakes down 10 stories from Deck 16 to Deck 6. It’s a scary and thrilling 45 second ride with flashing lights and twists and turns. The entry is right next to the adequately named Wipe Out Bar and the exit is conveniently situated right next to the Sabor Tequila Bar so you can put away a few shots to untangle your jangled nerves.
It is while partaking in this kind of meditation with Mexico’s ‘Patron’ saint of sorts that I meet Christen, a travel agent from Aberdeen, Scotland. We get talking and realise that I have a dinner invitation to the Solarium Bistro that is serving Mediterranean food including delicious lamb kebabs, baba ganoush (that splendid eggplant and olive oil dip from Turkey), lahmacun and Börek.

She, on the other hand, has an invitation to Chops Grille, Royal Caribbean’s signature steakhouse, which is the place to go on this ship if you’re after filet mignon, lamb chops or New York strip and also dry-aged steaks and Maine lobster. So, we hit both places, pacing ourselves with minuscule portions at the Bistro and a hearty steak at Chops Grille.
Amidst all this the ship sets sail.

Getting a monster like this out of port is akin to backing up a six-axle trailer on a narrow Himalayan road, but the ship’s engineering and the pilot’s dexterity is so precise that this huge floating city turns on its own axis. Imagine if you had a car whose front and rear wheels could turn 90 degrees on either side, then its turning radius would be equal to its length. The Harmony of the Seas turns like that — it is pure magic to see it do so. On the shore onlookers cheer the Harmony of the Seas as it sets off on its first passenger voyage.

After the muster drill has been completed the chief steward of the ship comes onto the PA system and outlines the entertainment for the evening. There is an ice-skating musical on at Studio B right next to the Casino. The Grease Broadway show will play at the Royal Theatre, live music will play at plenty of venues around the ship and there are also some stand-up comedians to check out.

We venue hop throughout the boat late into the night and even though I am supposed to be sleep-deprived and jet-lagged (I was in Mumbai, just 24 hours ago), I seem to be plugged into some invisible energy grid that’s ubiquitous all over the ship. Music plays late into the night, public areas become impromptu dance floors and the crew put on great performances that look so spontaneous.

I finally retire to my room with a hot cappuccino and I sit on my balcony and sip it. I realise that I am fortunate to have an ocean-facing room because it gives me a sense of space and vastness. Over the next two days, I find that my balcony is the perfect escape when I want my cocoon of solitude away from the happening hubbub of the ship.

Tomorrow I will explore the four outdoor pools, the rock climbing wall, work off excesses on the jogging track and maybe get a massage at the Vitality Spa. But, for now, I am content to sit on my balcony and taste the salty sea breeze on my tongue.

READY RECKONER

♦ The Harmony of the Seas will cruise around the Mediterranean Sea till October. Barcelona and Rome (Civitavecchia) are the boarding points for the seven-day Western Mediterranean cruises. The minimum price is about $1,900 including taxes, ex Rome, for the ‘Inside’ staterooms.
♦ There’s a 13-night Barcelona to Florida cruise leaving October 23.
♦ From November, the liner will go on three- or seven-night Caribbean cruises from Fort Lauderdale, US.
♦ To book a cruise on this boat go to www.tirun.com.

Photographs by author