Sanjay Budhia is a man of multiple interests. He’s the managing director of Patton International, a government-recognised export house. He’s the chairman of CII National Committee on Trade Policy as well as the vice-president of the Indian Chamber of Commerce. If that’s not enough, to keep his day well and truly packed, Sanjay has even written a book in Sanskrit. A lover of the arts, he’s the chief patron of the Dover Lane Music Conference, one of the most prestigious classical concerts held in Calcutta.

Sanjay was born in Tinsukia, a small town in the upper regions of Assam, surrounded by lush green tea gardens and mountains. He moved to Calcutta with his parents after completing his schooling from Hindi High School in Assam. After graduating in commerce from St Xavier’s College, he joined his father’s business.

His wife, Minu, is also from Assam. She was brought up in a large joint family with five uncles and lots of cousins. She is the eldest of four siblings and completed her graduation from Loreto College only after marriage. The Budhias have been married for 22 years and have two daughters, 19-year-old Priyam and 11-year-old Prachi. And after all this time together, both Sanjay and Minu insist that their relationship is getting stronger by the day.

Sanjay:

Tinsukia is a small township, and so our families have known each other for years. In fact, Minu’s brother and I were very good friends before Minu and I married. So in a way, our marriage was a bit of both ? a love match and an arranged one at the same time. After a short courtship of two years, Minu and I got married in 1984.

What I liked about Minu from the very beginning was her quiet and reserved nature. She has a rounded personality and is modern yet moderate. Minu has won over everyone in my family with her sense of caring and time management abilities. She also has it in her to adjust to most situations. I’ve always believed that we shouldn’t forget our roots. My parents have made me, and an empire can only be built when the foundation is solid.

Minu thinks the same way and this is reflected in her attitude towards my parents which has been very caring and dutiful from the first day of our marriage. Her other dimension is of a great partner ? she’s more than a mere passive housewife. She is very involved in my work, is well informed on current affairs and economic strategies. What’s more, she’s as much an expert in the kitchen and can rustle up amazing dosas and chillas ? my favourite dishes.

In fact so committed is Minu to our family and home that she keeps her visits to her own parents, who stay in Visakhapatnam, very short. I always joke with her and ask why she can’t take a longer break, like my friends’ wives.

But even the best of friends have disputes and ours are usually over attending social events. I must admit that I love to meet people, and the wild stuff ? parties and loud music ? while Minu loves quiet places and enjoys pottering about in the kitchen more than going out. Over the years I have hit upon a workable solution ? I simply leave all the invitations on her table and leave it to her to decide for us.

All in all, she does a great job ? taking care of our daughters, managing the household, looking after my parents, everything. Minu and I have come to realise that a cornerstone of a successful marriage is giving each other space. And what can I say, it has worked for us!

Minu:

I suppose that I first noticed Sanjay as he was a very bright student ? he was the Hindi topper in Assam around the time we passed out. In school, his notes used to be circulated around the class, and my friends and I used to look at them all the time. Even at that young age, his intelligence fascinated me.

Sanjay is caring to a fault and it may sound excessive, but a request for something just has to pass my lips and Sanjay will ensure that he fulfils it. It’s not just me. He’s ready to help people in distress, and they could be family, friends or simply acquaintances.

It is really difficult to feel low around Sanjay as he’s full of energy and enthusiasm. His zest for life is admirable. He is a people’s person and always on the go. He’s the kind of guy who can head straight out for dinner even after long, hard day at work. But on the other hand, he’s a good son with traditional values, and one who never loses sight of his responsibilities towards his family.

But this perfectionist attitude is also perhaps his shortcoming. I guess it creates a problem on occasion as he looks for perfection in every small thing. This stresses him out a lot ? just as it does others.

The best part of our relationship has been our ability to understand each other thoroughly. Despite minor differences in our habits and personalities, we have learnt to respect each other as individuals.