It is not often that you come across a saas-bahu jodi where the former steps out in style and becomes a prominent figure in the world of fashion while the latter remains in the background, managing every aspect of the business. The relationship between Sarbari Datta, the first female menswear designer in Calcutta and her daughter-in-law, Kanaklata is a unique one all right ? a combination of art and commerce.

The daughter of renowned poet and professor, Ajit Datta, Sarbari graduated in philosophy from Presidency College while simultaneously continuing with her training in Indian classical dance. Growing up in a family that always gave importance to academics and creativity, Sarbari from a very young age, found herself fascinated by lines, forms and colours. It wasn’t long before she built on her passion for design and went on to become a menswear designer of considerable repute.

Kanaklata travels around the world with Sarbari, acting as her production manager and handling all the intricacies of her fashion business with immaculate efficiency. The youngest of seven siblings, Kanaklata completed her studies from Jogamayadevi College, after which she married Amalin, the only son of Sarbari and Alo Datta, after a 12-year-long courtship.

Sarbari:

I got married immediately after completing my Higher Secondary Examination. I was just 18 years old. My mother-in-law was a very dominating and demanding person, and I was quite afraid of her. My relationship with Kanu (her nickname) though, is entirely different. I don’t look upon her as my daughter-in-law. It almost feels like she has grown up in our family, just like my son. Her name used to be Sulekha but I started calling her Kanaklata, as it matches her nickname.

What I like about Kanu is that she is calm, composed and furthermore, diplomatic ? something which I am not. Kanu is also sharp, intelligent, has a knack for calculations and understands the various aspects of business really well. I tend to be restless and can’t handle too much pressure and tension. Also, I hate getting bogged down with all the nitty-gritty of the business. While Amalin helps out in the business, it is Kanu who plays a major role. The fact that my business is professionally run is due to her efforts behind the scenes. Kanu has a great ability to reach out to others ? she is more of a people’s person than I am. And this helps a great deal, as we have to work with a huge team. Kanu manages to control them so easily! On the other hand, I am emotional and panicky.

One of the reasons why Kanu and I share such a healthy relationship is because I don’t impose anything on her. Also I express my irritation with something or someone openly ? I don’t talk behind their backs. Now Kanu is not an obedient daughter-in-law at all ? rather, she argues a lot. In fact, for this very photo shoot, I told her to wear an outfit which I’d bought for her, but she refused. Kanu doesn’t bend over backwards to please me ? and this is what I like most. She genuinely cares for me. Whenever I feel depressed, she gets upset. Whenever any one criticises me, she’s the first to react.

Even though we’re so close, Kanu and I are essentially very different. She hates to do household chores. I love to cook and enjoy doing housework. Kanu is laidback and loves to laze around. I hate hanging around and want everything in my home to be prim and proper. Once after returning home from an overseas trip, I remember having to organise her daughter’s birthday party. All Kanu did was wait for me to arrive. I organise her clothes and the other small things, about which she can’t be bothered. So in a way, I do pamper her. Ultimately what works for our relationship is that both of us have our individual quirks ? it is this that keeps our relationship lively.

Kanaklata:

I share a unique bond with Jhuma, Sarbaridi’s nickname. I call her Jhuma as I quite like the name and also because the word ‘ma’ is in it ? though initially it did not go down well with our other relatives. Our relationship is not your typical saas-bahu one. My family lived very close to Jhuma’s house on Broad Street and we’d be regular visitors. I fell in love with Raja (Amalin’s nickname) in my early teens. So I grew to love him, his house and his mother. In fact the free and frank conversations they’d have really made an impression on me. Raja had friendly relationship with his mother and I too didn’t face any difficulty when it came to getting to know her. Jhuma taught me so many things like household chores and dressing up. She also opened up the whole world of Tagore to me.

Over the years I’ve learnt many things from her. Previously before getting married, my family would have tea boiled in milk and water with sugar. Here though, it’s a different ballgame. Jhuma makes tea in a teapot with flavoured tea leaves, transparent liquor, and the sugar and milk is served separately. That’s just how she is ? meticulous and precise in all she does. Our relationship is very normal and spontaneous unlike many other saas-bahu relationships that seem artificial and projected. Even if God forbid, Raja and I were ever to get divorced, my relationship with my mother-in-law wouldn’t change. That’s because I love her not only as Raja’s mother but as a woman who knows to balance work and home.

Jhuma and I fight pretty often as both of us have strong opinions. She is shy while I’m a go-getter, she’s short tempered and nervous while I’m confident, determined and logical. Yet inspite of our differences, our ties are strong. Her faith in my capabilities only inspires me further. She looks after my kids so well ? sometimes too well I feel. That’s my only complaint ? her pampering them with expensive gifts. But ultimately, Jhuma is a transparent person and refreshingly unpretentious, which makes our relationship a warm, natural and spontaneous one.

Photograph by Utpaal Sorkkar