Hrithik Roshan is not going to like this. His latest release Bang Bang may have made oodles of money, but it has left at least one viewer with dark thoughts. The film, somehow, reminded Sahil Rizwan of his recent brush with tuberculosis.
'Now, I'm not saying the movie is worse than tuberculosis, but... you know,' Rizwan writes.
He writes — and across the world, Bollywood fans log on to read him. Rizwan is a cinema critic of the digital age, one of the many Hindi film reviewers to have cropped up on cyberspace. His blog, the Vigil Idiot, gets a cool two million hits a year.
The venerable old critics are still being read in newspapers and magazines, no doubt. But a young breed now rules the Internet. Their critiques are humorous, come with graphics and catty one-liners — and have hordes of followers.
For many Hindi film watchers, Imaan Sheikh is the last word in reviews. For Sheikh, it all started when she watched Dhoom: 3 one evening in Karachi. She hated it so much that she decided to do a pictorial blog on it.
'It was meant only for my friends but it went viral. So I decided to do more and it's what I do now,' Sheikh says. The 25-year-old journalist, now based in Dubai, also contributes to BuzzFeed India, a news and entertainment portal.
Since November 2013, Sheikh has reviewed eight films, including oldies such as Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. She plans to start reviewing new films soon, which is what Rizwan has been doing for five years.
Rizwan adds that he used to enjoy making fun of everything that was 'stupid' in a film with his friends. Then one day it struck him that he could turn those conversations into a comic strip blog.
The blog went viral after he reviewed Kurbaan, a 2009 dud starring Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor. 'Kurbaan is to socially relevant cinema what Savita Bhabhi is to the empowerment of women,' he wrote, referring to the 2008 digital pornographic cartoon character.
The format for the new reviewers is user-friendly — complete with (as in the case of Sheikh's reviews) stills and video clips from films. The Vigil Idiot makes use of stick figures along with a bitchy commentary.
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New voices: Biswa Kalyan Rath and (top) Kanan Gill
The reviews don't just come with visual aids such as thinking balloons, but also as YouTube discussions using mixed languages and cuss words. Two Bangalore-based stand-up comedians and friends, Kanan Gill and Biswa Kalyan Rath, have been entertaining viewers on YouTube with their reviews.
The two thought of going public while watching a Bollywood film on TV together. 'The idea occurred to Kanan that we could, maybe, review these movies in a funny way as they have so much bad footage,' Rath says. The two-man team got ready with their notes on a film, a DSLR camera and some editing software — and in March they were out with their first review.
Called the Pretentious Movie Reviews, their digital show started with a review of the 1998 film, Gunda, starring Mithun Chakraborty. The friends sat in front of a camera and tore the movie to shreds — which they did with a clever interplay of the film's dialogues and scenes, graphics and their own caustic humour. Actor Arshad Warsi tweeted that he liked the review — and there was no looking back.
In six months, their YouTube channel has seen a growing legion of fans. 'I love these reviews because of their wit and sarcasm. They totally change the way we see films,' says Suchandra Das, a student at the Kalinga Institute of Industrial Technology University in Bhubaneswar, Odisha.
Rizwan likes reviewing new films from big production houses. 'The bigger the movie and the more publicity it gets, the more popular is my comic on it. So any movie by one of the Khans usually means a viral comic. The top 10 most read comics of mine are probably all SRK, Aamir or Salman movies, barring a couple,' says Rizwan, who works for Amar Chitra Katha in Bangalore during the week as a writer and sub-editor.
Gill and Rath prefer older films — which give them the kind of 'material' they like to bite into.
'New films usually don't have enough bad footage. They have flat plots which aren't easy to convert into a review,' says Rath, an IIT graduate who works with an IT company in Bangalore. Their reviews of Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon and Prem Aggan got six lakh hits each.
The reviewers are tight-lipped on the kind of money they make through their reviews, but concede that they make 'decent' sums from ads posted on their videos and blogs. There are other advantages, too. Their popularity as reviewers has ensured that Gill and Rath's stand-up comedy shows are great hits. There was a near stampede for tickets in Gurgaon when they were there for a stand-up show recently.
Apart from their fans, the modern-day critics have impressed traditional film critics, too. 'What they are doing is absolutely fantastic. In a way they have re-invented the whole craft and forced people like me to think whether I need to change the way I review films on television,' film critic Rajeev Masand says.
Masand watched Rath-and-Gill's review of Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon and felt that he should've done a better job of pointing out 'how silly the film was' when he reviewed it for a channel over 10 years ago.
A senior critic and close observer of the entertainment industry, Sreedhar Pillai, says that 20 years ago, film reviewing was considered a serious art. But today's reviews — done innovatively — are here to stay, he holds.
'They are smart and they understand the limited attention span of the audience. They package their reviews in such a way that they are watched or read with great interest,' Pillai says.
But humour may not work on all films. 'As a viewer I look for humour in films but there are also times when I want to watch a serious film. I will go for a newspaper or a television review for this,' Bangalore-based comedian and musician Kenneth Sebastian says.
Rath, however, points out that their audience largely consists of young viewers, who appreciate their cheeky tone. 'Everyone has a target audience that they cater the best to,' he says.
Bollywood too has taken note of the new critics. Among their fans are Mita Vashisht, Sonakshi Sinha, Arshad Warsi, Vishal Dadlani, Kalki Koechlin and Anurag Kashyap. 'When we were kids, Mad magazine used to carry spoofs of films. So there is no reason why anybody in the industry should be upset by these reviews,' Vashisht says.
Rizwan says that many celebrities have appreciated his work through mail, but not publicly. 'They obviously wouldn't want to share something that brings down a colleague of theirs,' he says.
Shah Rukh Khan had described his review of Ra.One as 'nastily funny' in a tweet. 'That's probably been the highlight of my career as a spoof reviewer,' Rizwan says.
Bottom line
Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon:
Most acting ever.
Prem Aggan:
Least acting ever.
(Gill & Rath)
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna:
A touching story that attempts to justify cheating on loyal spouses.
Hum Saath Saath Hain:
You will be thankful for your family. This one is batshit mental.
(Imaan Sheikh)
Ragini MMS 2:
It takes a lot of talent to put a near-naked Sunny Leone in your film and still make people yawn.
(Sahil Rizwan)
