Catherine Hakim is not unused to kicking up stirs. The sociologist and writer from the United Kingdom, whose positions on women and sex have often been controversial, is out with a new book — The New Rules: Internet Dating, Playfairs and Erotic Power. In it, Hakim — best known for her work on analysing women’s issues at work, home and society — looks at the growing trend of married couples having affairs in Britain. Men and women are using the Internet to find like-minded people and these affairs, she argues, are giving a kick to marriages. As expected, the book has led to fierce debates online and off. Her earlier positions — such as the theory that prostitutes are role models and feminists are mostly irrelevant — stirred up similar debates. But Hakim, who has published over 100 papers in academic journals, has four textbooks under her belt and numerous books analysing the labour market, holds that she is not promoting adultery — as some of her critics have charged her with. It’s, however, a fact that adultery is on the rise in Britain, Hakim — a senior research fellow at the London School of Economics from 1990 to 2003 and now at the WBZ Research Institute in Berlin — tells ABIMANYU NAGARAJAN in an email interview

Q: A lot of people online seem to believe your latest book promotes adultery. Do you think they’re oversimplifying what you’re trying to say?

A: Some people will make that connection because that’s what it’s about. The reason I was looking at this is because of the number of people who are having affairs in the United Kingdom has doubled. More and more people are saying they are in sexless marriages and are admitting to having affairs. And they use the Internet to help them find other people like them, in celibate marriages.

I thought this was an exaggeration. But when I looked at some national sex surveys, I found that in the UK, one in five says they’ve been sexually inactive for the past year, and one in 10 for the past five years. These people are going online to find partners. Interestingly, people who tend to use these sites have strong family values.

Q: In the book, you talk about how the best age to have an affair is 45 years for women, and 50 for men. How did you reach this conclusion?

A: It’s not that there’s an age range that’s ideal to have an affair, but statistics show it’s common among certain age groups. For example, affairs are very uncommon during the first two years of a marriage, which is also called the honeymoon period. One interesting thing is that affairs are less common in the UK and US than in continental Europe. For example, in France, one quarter of the people admit to having an affair. In Finland, half of the husbands and one third of wives admit to having it. In Italy, it’s one quarter of the men and one eighth of the women. The proportions are much higher. In the UK, only two per cent of wives and five per cent of husbands admit to it. But it looks like the numbers are growing here.

Q: Why do you think it’s increasing?

A: There are many reasons why. People are travelling more, and are exposed to different attitudes, more European and less Anglo-Saxon. And among younger people, pre-marital sex is becoming a normal thing.

Q: You have developed a theory called “erotic capital”. What exactly is it? Can men also use it, or is it limited to women?

A: Erotic capital is a combination of social qualifications and attractiveness. It can make you more successful than if you relied on traditional means of getting ahead. At present, we emphasise educational qualifications to have a successful career. But I say attractiveness is equally important. It has serious value and benefits.

Some studies show men benefit more from erotic capital than women do. The average pay for an attractive man is 17 per cent higher than for other men, while it’s 12 per cent higher for attractive women.

Q: How does the Internet matter to erotic capital? Does it have a significant effect on how people use it? What makes erotic capital important?

A: I wouldn’t say significant as much as it does make a difference. Women have always been told things like beauty is only skin deep, that looks and beauty aren’t as important, but that’s not true. Especially these days, it’s more important than ever. We are more visible today thanks to the Internet. People put pictures of themselves online, put up videos of themselves. Even an average person has a lot of visibility, and being attractive will naturally help. Appearances are important.

The workforce is also changing. Before, a lot of the work was physical labour or manufacturing, but now we have many more jobs that require people to interact, to build social relationships. Attractive people will naturally be more desirable for such jobs. Also, as a country becomes more affluent, the people will tend to get into luxurious activities. And beauty is a luxury that more and more people will go for.

Q: What do you have to say to your critics who feel your ideas are regressive?

A: My books have been translated in multiple languages. They have attracted enormous interest from people around the world. They’re sold in Brazil, Spain, Italy, in many, many countries. And people understand what I’m trying to say instantly. In all these countries, they view sex differently; it’s not seen as a taboo. But in the UK and the US, the people still hold on to the Anglo-Saxon ideal — they’re very puritanical.

I mainly get mails from men. They say that my ideas, like erotic capital, are correct; they are valid. They say I understand the patriarchal structure in the world today, and how women and erotic capital are denigrated. They appreciate my ideas. They tell me I get it.