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I always thought I was a thin man trapped in a fat man’s body. I lived in denial, and didn’t want to accept that I was fat. I would look into the mirror and think — ‘Oh, what the hell!’ It took me seven long years to come to terms with the fact that I needed help.
My family and friends were worried about my unhealthy eating habits for a long time but I always chose to live my life king size. I was a major foodie and so for me going on a diet was unthinkable.
At first my weight and appearance didn’t matter to me at all. My commitment was to music and I knew I was doing well there. Thin, fat, short, tall shouldn’t matter in my business, but things don’t work that way in showbiz. People criticised me and comedians poked fun at me all the time. But those things didn’t really bother me much. I was happy being the way I was. It was only my doctors who jolted me awake when they apprised me of the seriousness of my less-than-healthy weight. I was diagnosed with lymphodema, which is acute retention of water in the knees.
At one point, I couldn’t even move because of my weight. I couldn’t lie down and used to sleep sitting up. And I did it for seven years. I couldn’t stand without support, I couldn’t walk without a walking stick and I had to use a wheelchair to travel. There was a time when I couldn’t fit into the normal wheelchairs at the airports. I had one custom-made for me.
The final straw came in July 2006, when my doctors told me I wouldn’t live beyond six months if I continued like this. I had a lot of health complications due to obesity. But my doctors joked that they would only last six months because that’s all the time I had to live. Then realisation dawned that I didn’t have time to waste. It wasn’t an easy ride. For someone who loved food and couldn’t imagine a meal without meat, it was a tough task. I went to America and enlisted the support of nutritionist Sara McClaughen. From then on, I was put on a strict diet and fitness regime.
My diet needed me to give up everything I loved. No carbohydrates — no rice, no wheat, no bread, no sugar — and no meat. I was put on a high protein diet with lots of salads. I hated vegetables before that.
It was extremely difficult in the beginning but I got used to it. Luckily, I started seeing the results immediately. I lost 20 kilos in the first two weeks. I followed my diet religiously and that was the most difficult thing I have ever done. There was no physical activity involved then because I found it difficult to even stand on my own. When I lost some weight, I started physical activity by going to the mall and walking a bit. That was exercise for me.
It took time and effort, but now I feel very satisfied that I did it. Life has taken a 360-degree turn. I need to lose another 20 kg and my target will be achieved.
Even though I have lost so much weight, I still can’t indulge myself. Not that I mind. Low-calorie food has now become my way of life. So much so that fattening foods don’t even appeal to me anymore. I’ve had two lifetimes worth of good food. So I don’t feel tempted when I see people eat high-calorie food. I still cook the occasional kadai mutton or butter chicken for my friends and relatives because I am a great cook. But I don’t eat it. I am happy to reach for my salad bowl.
Exercise has become a big part of my life now. I religiously do one-and-a-half-hour of cardio exercises daily and play tennis and squash four times a week. I never want to go back to that obese phase of my life. It was a nightmare. I don’t even know how I got there.
I was not a fat child. I was healthy in school and college and was even the captain of my school squash team in England. It was when I turned 25 that I started gaining weight. I think what started it off was that I started seeking comfort in food when I lost the legal custody of my son from my first marriage. To combat depression, I sought comfort in food. By the time I realised I needed to do something about depression, the bad habits had already been formed. But I am proud to say that I ditched those habits.
There’s just one thing I want to say to people trying to lose weight. If I can do it, anybody can. Everything’s possible!
The happiest at my weight loss are my parents and friends. They say I’ve lost the other person I was carrying around and they miss him. I don’t!
as told to S. Ramachandran