The Root cause of Kohli's glory

So who is the best batsman in the world - Joe Root or Virat Kohli? For some years now, I have been running their stats side by side by way of amusement but last week following their Test double centuries - Root, England's vice-captain, hit 254 (27x4) against Pakistan in Manchester, while Kohli, the Indian skipper, got 200 (24x4) against the West Indies in Antigua - it seemed all cricket fans had joined in.

But first it would be pertinent to recall the words of empire builder Cecil Rhodes: "Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life."

However, strictly in terms of making money, it's Root's bad luck he was not born an Indian, otherwise he would be a multi-millionaire - just like Kohli.

Two years ago Kohli's value was assessed at $56.4million, making him the most marketable athlete in the world behind racing driver Lewis Hamilton, according to the UK-based magazine SportsPro.

I doubt Root earns very much more than his cricketing salary, whereas Kohli apparently endorses no fewer than 13 brands.

In England no one is the least bothered that Root has got engaged to Carrie Cotterell, a medical rep, after two years of courtship. On the minus side, every twist and turn in Kohli's on-off-on relationship with the actress Anushka Shankar is chronicled by the Indian media.

Just to get the stats out of the way, in 44 Tests, Root, 25, has an average of 56.15 and scored 10 centuries. In 73 ODIs, he has an average of 44.96 and has hit 8 centuries. In 20 T20s, he has an average of 39.60.

Kohli, 27, has played 42 Tests with an average of 46.28 and has hit 12 centuries. He has played 171 ODIs with an average of 51.51 and has scored 25 centuries. In 43 ODIs, his average is 58.60.

On a chat show, former England players Bob Willis and Mark Butcher plumped for Root, while Wasim Akram considered Kohli the better batsman.

Former Pakistan batsman Mohammad Yousuf ranked Root ahead of Kohli as the best in the world.

The BBC's cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew admitted: "Root and Kohli... are the two batsmen I would choose to bat for my life. I could not pick between them."

I find myself agreeing with Wisden editor, Lawrence Booth, who offered me this assessment: "It will be easier to compare Kohli and Root at the end of their careers, but at the moment it's probably fair to say that Root has the edge in Test cricket, while Kohli is incomparable in the white-ball formats, especially when India are batting second. Both gaps may close in the years ahead, and it's going to be fascinating to see them go head-to-head in India this winter. That will be Root's next big challenge - and Kohli will be desperate to outshine him."

Family values

Fatima Bhutto, who has written in the past about her late aunt Benazir Bhutto allegedly having ordered the murder of her brother, Murtaza (Fatima's father), has now turned her attention to a brother doing away with his sister.

"On July 15, Pakistan's obsession with honour made the news once again with the death of Qandeel Baloch, an Internet and social media sensation whose brother drugged and then strangled her for bringing shame to their family," writes Fatima in the Financial Times.

Fatima is either brave or foolhardy to take on "traditional culture" when there has been not a word of condemnation, as far as I can tell, from Britain's 1m strong Pakistani population (which has had its own share of "honour killings").

"Pakistan is a country obsessed with dishonour," Fatima adds. "Though the nation itself is hardly a paragon of integrity - corrupt and incoherent after 69 years of military misrule and elective kleptocracy - it hounds half of its citizenry constantly, patrolling behaviour, speech and lifestyle.

"Baloch's murder has nothing to do with honour," she asserts. "The same men who reviled her, filling social media with horrible abuse directed at her, are the very same men who desperately desired her."

Sikh humour

Do we need to stop making jokes about Sikhs?

Harvinder Singh Chowdhury, a lawyer who has moved the Supreme Court, has told Amy Kazmin of the Financial Times: "These jokes have become such a part of Indian life that Sikhs are not able to survive without being humiliated. These jokes are enjoyed as casual fun but the Sikh community is feeling ridiculed."

In London, Rami Ranger, chairman of the British Sikh Association, agrees.

"Although we grown-ups brush off Sikh jokes, youngsters do get affected," he tells me. "Sadly, students being young can use stereotype jokes to damage the self-esteem of their fellow Sikh students. These jokes do cause psychological harm to some. Ironically, people remember funny jokes more that the rationale behind the creation of Sikhs by their Gurus to save India."

According to Kazmin, "paradoxically, the man responsible for the popularity of Santa-Banta jokes was a Sikh. Khushwant Singh, who died two years ago, aged 99... had a wicked sense of humour."

I consulted Khushwant's journalist son, Rahul Singh, who owned up happily: "I have also written a column on same subject, making fun of those who want Sardarji jokes banned. Santa-Banta was, I think, coined by my dad, about two Sikhs who banter with one another."

But perhaps it does no harm to be aware of Sikh sensitivities.

Kashmir cauldron

There is a danger I am speaking too soon but even the killing of Hizbul commander Burhan Wani has not provoked Pakistani activists in Britain to revive the "Kashmir dispute".

This could be because at a time when Muslims in Europe feel implicated, however unfairly, by events such as Nice, Pakistanis do not wish to be linked to Indian allegations of "cross-border terrorism". Or they realise that the Kashmir problem has no solution.

Either way, it makes for a pragmatic working relationship between Indians and Pakistanis in Britain.

UK's Mallya

Indians may not be familiar with business tycoon Sir Philip Green, but he is almost the UK's equivalent of Vijay Mallya - except he is getting a harder time from the press.

The Daily Mail refers daily to "Sir Shifty", who likes being surrounded by female celebs such as Elizabeth Hurley and supermodel Kate Moss.

Green's perceived crime is that he stripped BHS, a department store group of £300m before selling it for £1. Beset by a pension fund black hole of £571m, BHS's 163 stores have bust with a loss of 11,000 jobs.

Meanwhile, Green, 64, who seems to be permanently on holiday on his £100m yacht, has been called "the unacceptable face of capitalism" by two Commons committees and faces losing his knighthood.

Tittle tattle

At my last meeting with Khushwant Singh, I noticed the pile of old copies of Private Eye in his sitting room. After his death this was bagged by Vikram Seth.

Khushwant would have been amused by the latest cover of the satirical magazine based on a photograph of the new Prime Minister Theresa May curtseying low to the Queen.

"How low can you go?" she asks.

Mrs May replies: "I've appointed Boris (Johnson) as foreign secretary."