Root cause of England's rise

Now that India, cruelly, is not in the final, we can all relax and actually enjoy the cricket today at Eden Gardens. People of Indian and Pakistani origin living in the UK - and especially the parents of Moeen Ali and Adil Rashid - will be backing England, of course.

In the cauldron of Calcutta, anything can happen but the batsman with the coolest head and the steadiest temperament to my mind is Joe Root.

Statistics tell you everything and nothing. However, in the past year or so, I have been amusing myself by comparing his record with that of Virat Kohli - in England, Root does not command even a tiny fraction of the adulation that Kohli enjoys in India.

But former England captain Nasser Hussain says of Root: "He is the best England batsman across all forms of cricket - ever."

When he is batting in a Test, I have noticed Root leaving balls outside the off stump. He won't be tempted. Compared with Kohli, he seems to be unspectacular. And yet when I come back an hour or so later, more often than not I find Root is still there, typically with 70 to his name.

Kohli is 27, Root two years younger. Kohli is 1.75m tall, Root is 1.83m.

Kohli has played in 41 Tests, scored 2,994 runs with a highest of 169. He has scored 11 centuries and has an average of 44.01.

Root has played in 39 Tests, scored 3,406 runs with a highest of 200 not out. He has scored 9 centuries and has an average of 54.93.

Kohli has played many more ODIs - 171 to Root's 68.

Kohli has clocked 7,212 runs, with a highest of 183. He has scored 25 centuries and has an average of 51.51.

Root has clocked 2,572 runs, with a highest of 125. He has scored 8 centuries and has an average of 44.34.

When it comes to T20, Kohli has played in 43 games, made 1,641 runs, with a highest of 90 not out and has an average of 58.60.

In contrast, Root has played in 19 games, made 540 runs, with a highest also of 90 not out and has an average of 38.57.

Those lucky enough to have a ticket for today's final should be assured that in Root they are watching someone with class. After Mumbai, the West Indies have the momentum with them, but I would not underestimate this England side. It bats deep.

Incidentally, I forgot to mention the major difference between Root and Kohli. We know nothing about Root's love life - nor is anyone bothered to find out.

Comfort food

Paparazzi prowl round London's swish restaurants in the hope of catching celebrities unawares. Thus, the Daily Mail published photographs of Salman Rushdie meeting TV chef-cum-voluptuous "Domestic Goddess" Nigella Lawson for dinner.

Rushdie clearly has a thing for women chefs, considering he has just been stung by his vengeful former wife, Padma Lakshmi, in her book, Love, Loss, and What We ate.

"Nigella Lawson, 56, and Sir Salman Rushdie, 68, have been close for more than two decades, with Salman supporting Nigella during her traumatic split from Charles Saatchi," the Mail reported. "But on this occasion... it was Nigella's turn to comfort the novelist as the pair caught up over dinner at Locanda Locatelli in West London."

"Comfort" is a euphemism beloved of tabloids.

"The author of Midnight's Children has found himself in the marital firing line this month after his former wife Padma Lakshmi wrote a deeply unflattering memoir about their eight-year relationship," it said. "Lakshmi claims she had to console poor Sir Salman every year he didn't win the Nobel Prize for literature and that her struggles with endometriosis, a condition affecting the lining of the womb, led him to call her 'a bad investment'.

"Let's hope Nigella was able to soothe his soul," added the naughty Mail.

Calcutta image

As it is, we spend so much energy defending Calcutta from its "Black Hole" associations taught in history lessons in school. And now this.

For overseas Calcuttans, the reaction to the flyover tragedy is first extreme distress - and then anger. This criminal negligence gives Calcutta a global image of a broken city with a broken government. In exceptional weather conditions accidents can and do happen all over the world, but the worrying question is whether India's engineering colleges and IITs turn out engineers capable of calculating what is safe and what is not.

This shouldn't pass without lessons being learnt from a thorough inquiry so that the mistakes are not repeated.

Two Ronnies

The two Ronnies were a famous double act in British comedy, who always signed off with, "It's good night from me - and it's good night from him."

The first of the two Ronnies - Ronnie Barker - died in 2005, aged 76.

And the second, Ronnie Corbett - who used his (lack of) height, only 5ft 1in, to good advantage - died last week, aged 85.

Corbett deservedly earned affectionate farewells in the obituary columns, with papers recalling some of his jokes which made the whole nation laugh:

"For some time, my wife's had this ridiculous idea that I'm playing too much golf. Actually, it came to a head at about 11.30 last night. She suddenly shouted at me: 'Golf, golf, golf. All you ever think about is bloody golf!' And I'll be honest, it frightened the life out of me. I mean, you don't expect to meet somebody on the 14th green at that time of night."

"This is a message for seven honeymoon couples in a hotel in Peebles: Breakfast was served three days ago."

Steel stir

There was a time when Sajid Javid, son of a Pakistani bus driver, was tipped - like Priti Patel - as a possible future prime minister. But Tata's decision to get rid of its UK plants has dealt a blow to his ambitions.

Javid, 46, secretary of state for business, innovation and skills, was photographed attending a black tie dinner in Australia - just when thousands of steel workers back in Britain appeared poised to lose their livelihoods.

Many felt he should have either accompanied trade union leaders to Mumbai where the Tata board was meeting, or at least stayed in London after anticipating the crisis.

Now it turns out that he had taken his teenage daughter on the trip, hoping to have a family holiday once his official business was done. But though he had paid for her ticket, the Labour Party is accusing Javid of being uncaring and calling for his resignation.

Tittle tattle

Trust Private Eye to find (black) humour even in the aftermath of the Brussels tragedy.

The latest cover of the magazine, which pokes fun at the way the terrorist outrage was covered by the British press, has the following offering in bold type: "Exclusive to all newspapers: We must not give in to terror by over-reacting."

Private Eye mimics especially tabloid coverage in which readers typically are then told how the paper has not over-reacted: "On other pages. Panic! 1 Fear! 2 Horror! 3 Death! 4 Slaughter! 5 Apocalypse! 6 Armageddon! 7 Help! 8 We are all going to die! 94."