The Telegraph
Saturday , March 2 , 2013
Since 1st March, 1999
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I, Me Aur Main

Good films inspire… to write pages about it, to rave about one standout performance or one transcendental moment. Bad films inspire too… to demand answers, to go on a ranting spree and just mourn the mess. And then there are movies like I, Me Aur Main. The kind so bland and boring that you start counting the words from the first line of the review.

Yes, it’s a rom-com about what they are calling a man-child growing

up. Man-child because he doesn’t pay for the milk he doesn’t drink,

plays computer games, doesn’t believe in commitment and is generally all-round obnoxious. The kind, which if it hadn’t come with a body like John Abraham’s, would not be in the bed of Chitrangda Singh. At least, that way, one would have been saved from this movie.

Anyway, so scratching that much-seen sitcom space, Chitrangda’sAnushka throws John’s Ishaan out of her apartment and he gets himself a pad next to Gauri (Prachi Desai) who’s like this chalta-phirta smiley, the happy-go-lucky Chandramukhi of the piece. Once Anushka’s

pregnant and decides to have the child, the child-man would make use of the maxim: “Child is father of the man!”

If you thought that sounded dreary, it’s that much more tiresome in the theatres. The scenes are clunky, never striking a rhythm of any sort. There’s not one heartfelt moment in the movie that will bring a smile to your face or a tear to your eye. You are supposed to loathe the protagonist but you really couldn’t care less. Even the change of heart is as random as the film, banking on one very uninspiring monologue in the hospital.

Well, the makers must have got a whiff of the kind of lullaby they were whipping up. Not just in the delayed ETA — it was first supposed to release in July last year and then in December — but also in the making. The film is wrapped in loud background music meant to clarify the mood and tone of the scene, which otherwise might get mistaken for a different emotion altogether. And in the second half they actually start drowning the dialogues in the songs and music,lest you hear them.

John’s watchable even though there is a strong sense of No Smoking deja vu when he looks at the mirror bare-bodied and goes “I’m the best, I’m the best”. He is definitely not the best in those heavy-duty emotional scenes and there is no attempt to hide the shortfall.

Both Chitrangda and Prachi seem to have gone completely undirected. They have been so much better in other outings that to see them just beautify the frame is infuriating. The supporting cast is even worse, looking and sounding as disinterested as you are, watching the film.

The only scene of I, Me Aur Main one can identify with has John half-lying on the couch and fuming that the pizza’s over, the beer’s no longer cold and he’s just lost the computer game he was playing. If you were in the middle of a movie like this, you would do the same.

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