The Telegraph
Wednesday , November 28 , 2012
Since 1st March, 1999
CIMA Gallary

Twi-Hard Vs Twi-Hater Vs Twi-Between

The Twi-hard

Abhinanda Datta, Jadavpur University

She blushes every time you mention Edward, she sighs when you say Jacob. She loves Stephenie Meyer’s books and has her eyes glued to the screen whenever the movies come on TV. She can’t imagine life without Twilight.

The Twi-between

Roshni Ali, St. Xavier’s College

She has watched all five films because she’s a student of film studies. She’s read some of the books because she loves anything with fangs — from vampires to werewolves.

The Twi-hater

Shrestha Saha, Presidency University

She’s read all four Twilight novels and watched the five films and grimaced through ’em all. Such is her hate that she HAD to see the franchise through to the end, just to make sure it ends!

On The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2

Twi-hard: It was a perfect ending to this thrilling, heart-warming franchise. The montage that Bella shows Edward in the iconic meadow in the end was simply awesome. The ending song, A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, summed up the epic Edward-Bella saga, which will continue “for ever” because they are immortal. And for the end credits, they revisited all the characters of the five films... it was like going down a beautiful memory lane and it left a lump in my throat. The next time, I’ll go watch this movie alone in the hall so that I can cry buckets in peace!

Twi-between: The book-to-screen adaptation was done smartly, with the action scene coming as a surprise package that had us hooting, cheering and jumping in our seats. But when it’s competing with a film like Life of Pi, which has taken CGI (computer-generated images) to a whole new level, the computer-generated baby Renesmee reminded us of Chucky in Child’s Play!

Twi-hater: We’ve suffered through four books and five films, thank heavens the “bloody” sob story is over! What’s worse, the ONE thing that would’ve made this one hour 55 minute-ordeal somewhat tolerable — vampire Edward and vampire Bella getting some and more — was chopped off, thanks to our censors. Arrgh!

On Edward Cullen

Twi-hard: Caring and romantic... he’s the perfect boyfriend any girl could ever wish for. And in film five, he’s even more adorable because of his newfound sense of humour.

Twi-between: Edward refuses to get naughty with Bella before they are “vampire and wife” because he’s old-fashioned (he’s from the 17th century), and he’s scared his supernatural strength will “break” her, which is kind of cute. But what happens once they get married? He “breaks” the bed doing it!

Twi-hater: Cute? He’s downright creepy... he sneaks in through his girlfriend’s window and watches her sleep! How I suffered Robert Pattinson’s white face and shiny body throughout the films. He’s quite good in film five, but dude, did you need five movies to realise that you needed to act?

On Bella Swan

Twi-hard: She’s forever been slammed as the whimpering wannabe vampire but in film five, Bella grows a pair and how! Now she’s prettier, stronger, aggressive and as Aro tells her, “Immortality becomes you.” I can’t agree more!

Twi-between: But Kristen Stewart’s sense of style is totally weird. In this film, she goes hunting in a cocktail dress and wears track pants for everything else. But I love how she beats up Jacob!

Twi-hater: Through the previous four films, Kristen’s looked like she’s perpetually constipated. In film five, it seems Bella’s finally taken a dump. Also, Bella the character is a walking-talking lesson on how to lead two men on!

On the Volturi

Twi-hard: Aro and his clan are vampires as we knew them… cold, mean and evil. Michael Sheen plays Aro to perfection…. that bone-chilling laugh, the evil smirk, the aggression and the lovely robes. And Dakota Fanning as Jane was just the right amount of sinister.

Twi-between: I wish the vampires were killed the traditionally stake-through-the-heart way in Twilight and not how the Volturi started killing, by snapping bodies and burning them.

Twi-hater: Why couldn’t Stephenie Meyer have based her series just on the Volturi?! They are way more interesting than shining Edward and simpering Bella.

On Jacob Black

Twi-hard: A hot bod with a sexy tan... he’s the hunk who every girl wants but he can’t have the one girl he wants. His loyalty and dedication to Bella, even when she picks Edward, is oh-so-touching.

Twi-between: Actually Taylor Lautner’s caramel tan is so refreshing after watching all those sheet-white vampires! But in film five, he’s lost his eye-candy quotient… he’s way too thin, while we expected him to be bigger and better. And it’s sad to see the hunk-cum-werewolf reduced to a possessive, petty guard dog.

Twi-hater: He was in love with the mother and now he “imprints” on the daughter?! Jacob hooking up with Renesmee is just ewww!

There’s more. In film five, he strips suggestively in front of Bella’s dad. We know he was showing Charlie that he’s a werewolf but come on wolf, spare someone in the Swan lineage.

On Robsten

Twi-hard: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart make a lovely couple off-screen too. I was so upset when Kristen had a fling on the side. Many people said the affair

was a publicity stunt for film 5 but I don’t think so at all. The way she apologised and the way he took her back was very sweet.

Twi-between: The Robert-Kristen affair was quite entertaining in the beginning. But Robert is one of the few Hollywood stars who got two-timed on and off screen! Now that the franchise is over, I really doubt that they will last long. The two, however, make a very good-looking couple.

Twi-hater: I just wish a little bit of that real-life chemistry had rubbed off on the reel-life couple... at least that may have made the movies a little bearable. As for the break-up, I don’t really think it was a publicity stunt. Pattinson should definitely not take Stewart back... once a cheater, always a cheater.

On Renesmee

Twi-hard: She’s an ethereally beautiful baby, all grown up by age seven (can you imagine the relief for harried moms?) and she can communicate through touch. I just find her fascinating — half-human, half-vampire and totally adorable.

Twi-between: I love how she can have the best of both worlds — she can enjoy a meal of burger or blood, she has a beating heart but also the gift of touch.

Twi-hater: Fake baby. Period.

On the Cullen clan

Twi-hard: They showed me that I knew nothing about creatures of the night. The Cullens are vampires but they’re a loving, caring lot. And they are “vegetarians”, which means they don’t harm humans. They put dying humans out of their misery by biting them and granting them immortality. And despite his bloodthirst, Carlisle manages to control it and help people as a doctor. How cool is that?!

Twi-between: Since they are immortals, they have an entire wall dedicated to graduation caps, from all the colleges they’ve attended over the centuries. Cute, but actually a bit cheesy too.

Twi-hater: They grant humans immortality but is that a blessing or a curse? And they invite Bella to a party at their mansion on her birthday and then almost make a meal out of her!

If I made Twilight

Twi-between: I would make a series that would appeal just not to silly teenagers but an older audience too. I would cast people who can act. And definitely better animation and many, many more action sequences.

Twi-hater: If I had to make Twilight, I would dig a hole and disappear.

Twi-hard: You would disappear into a hole when your films were raking in trillions?

Well, if I made Twilight, I would ensure that the series never ended.

Samhita Chakraborty of t2 sat in on the chat