The Telegraph
Sunday , November 11 , 2012
Since 1st March, 1999
CIMA Gallary

Survival Strategies

On a recent visit to my aunt’s place I was shocked by my cousin’s behaviour. He threw himself at me and cracked lewd jokes and even suggested a physical intimacy. In fact, he tried to get intimate with me in the absence of the elders. I am too scared to confide in my family members. What must I do?

Name and address withheld

Nothing. Just enjoy the attention and do nothing. Remember incest is best if the two partners are interesting: in your case, I don’t think you are very happy about the situation so just play it out. Having said that, it is precisely the silence of you women that goes on to make these men the rogue predators they become: so here is what I suggest. Record his advances on a BlackBerry or iPhone or whatever the hell you use; then circulate it among your family members and if they are still not convinced, then call the cops. If that too fails, then call Times Now....

My mother is involved in an affair with a younger man. My father and brother haven’t the least idea about this. My parents have not been a happy couple but they have been wonderful in the role of our parents. I am in a fix now. Should I let my father know of my mother’s indiscretion or should I keep quiet so that my mother can have her chance at love?

Name and address withheld

Look darling, all married women fall in love after marriage but with someone other than their husband. Happy marriages died with Yash Chopra. Age is only a number. You should feel relieved that your mother is finally getting some action and I do not mean it crudely. She is happy and you should let her be. It is for that dolt father of yours to find out and if he is such a twat that he doesn’t even know, then he deserves an adulterer wife. You stay out of it darling and in the process if you raise some hackles and step on some un-manicured toes, well…then so be it.


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