The Telegraph
Sunday , May 13 , 2012
Since 1st March, 1999
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Survival Strategies

I am an 18-year-old woman and studying in the first year of college. I have been seeing a guy for some time now and I love him dearly. However, a tricky situation has arisen lately. I am really attracted to a particular professor in my college. I just cannot seem to get him out of my mind. And what’s even more tricky is that this attraction seems to be mutual. As you can see, I am in a pickle of sorts. Please advise.

Name and address withheld

Pickle? I think this is a superb kind of jam. Enjoy the flavours while they last. I would go on to say that fool both of them and forget this love thingie. It is too over-hyped. Look, this professor is going to be around all the while you are in college, so string him along. And keep that little pup by your side as well. It helps when you have two lovers; you can always work the schedules. As for loving your boyfriend, it is a misnomer. No woman at 18 loves anything but her own face in the mirror and you are not unique either. In these times of Twitter, multiple lovers are good for the heart and head. So, go for it. If you have place for a third, write to me pronto!

I am a 21-year-old man. My dad recently caught me watching porn on my cell phone, which was subsequently confiscated. Ever since this embarrassing incident, we have not been talking to each other. Of course, I do my best to avoid any confrontation with him. I am very disturbed by the turn of events and can hardly concentrate on my studies. My exams are just round the corner. Please help.

Name and address withheld

Look, the best thing for you to tell him is you were watching porn because you want to join politics and you want to practice watching porn whilst in the Assembly as many political worthies have done. Tell him you have no interest in porn per se but you just wanted an initiation into the world of mature Indian politics and you were doing it more as an intern rather than as a voyeur. If your Dad is dumb, he will buy this argument. My guess is he is pretty dumb to have you as a son. So, there is nothing to worry.  


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