The Telegraph
Monday , July 11 , 2011
Since 1st March, 1999
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What’s your status?

When the whole world was busy updating their BBM status, dedicating all sorts of “big smiles” and “thumbs up” to the deluge on that dreadful flooded Friday last month, I, who usually believe in sparing the 70-odd ‘contacts’ on my list on every breath I take and every move I make, keyed in this %&@#.

Was I the only one on the ‘list’ not finding this downpour romantic, and thinking about how to make it to work instead?

Wondering led to more wondering and ultimately led to figure out trends in the world of status updates. Weather updates top. For those not in the know, status updates have many elements. There’s a picture box. Here is where we upload our picture and update it on a half-hourly basis. We could be ‘Plushing’. We could be posing at Champs-Elysees. It could be our dog. Our cat. Our parrot. Our TV. Our phone charger. Anything. Then some of us use this picture box to upload graphics. Now this could also be anything. ‘Dear stress let’s break up’. ‘Don’t cry. Buy a bag and get over it.’ Garfield graphics. Teddy bear sweet somethings. Even ‘serious’ notes like ‘I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do’.

Next to the picture box there is space to fill in your status update. A couple of lines and the ‘field is full’. Not only do some people find the time to update this status every hour, some also find time on a regular basis to ‘do up’ their display names. Hearts, smileys, fancy fonts... Sometimes names read like this AJIJSJHJAJ or ANINSNHNAN.

And if all this was not enough, there is even more scope to write under the head ‘status’. You can choose between a red busy and green available. Or you can ‘personalise status’ thereby getting another few lines to update everybody on your latest move. Yes, you’re probably thinking ‘Oh god!’ right now but it’s not over yet.

When you’re on a call, you can set your BBM such that a phone icon appears, so people know you’re really busy and not just pretending!

The top 10

Happy birthday. Or congratulations. This one is usually accompanied by a picture of the special boy/girl. A picture that has to feature you also, of course!

Emoticons. One smiley. Three big smileys. Party. Hugs. Talk to the hand. Sometimes it’s one or two, sometimes it is a whole row of emoticons.

Travel plans. London. Paris. Most don’t update if they are travelling to Ludhiana. Or Digha.

Lovey-dovey. This one is for ‘chweeeeety’ and has a barrage of kisses and hearts and xoxo.

Random. This one could be just an “OMG” or “Hooked on to Franklin & Bash”. These are often JLT (just like that). Or thoughts on top of the mind.

Cryptic/ mysterious. These

can be either just a ‘whaaaaat’. Or a surprise emoticon. The updaters usually expect questions. Many questions.

Weather updates. It’s pouring. So hot. Lovely weather... and other such brilliant observations.

Movie reviews. Hangover 2 got many updates followed by ‘Bheja Fried’. The latest is Delhi Belly with a C. You know who’s watching which film. And with who. And of course what they think of it.

Day of the week. This one is most annoying. Weekend inspires people most. Monday comes second. With the word manic accompanying it.

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