Waiter: Sir, you are insulting me by giving me just a Rs 10 tip. Customer: How much do you expect?
Waiter: At least Rs 20, sir.
Customer: But I dont want you to face the same insult twice over!
Debayan Chatterjee, Class V, St Josephs School, Siliguri, West Bengal
First salesman: I have already got three orders today.
Second salesman: What are they?
First salesman: Get out, stay out and dont come back!
Dripta Bhattacharya, Class VII, South Point High School, Calcutta
Question: In which pool can you not swim?
Jinesh Modi, Class VII, Dr Grahams Homes, Kalimpong, West Bengal
Man: (Over the phone) Is this the librarian?
Man: What time does the library open?
Librarian: Whats the idea of calling me in the middle of the night to ask me this? We open at 9am. You cant get in before that.
Man: Who said I wanted to get in? I want to get out.
Kriti Kavita, Class IV, Delhi Public School, Patna, Bihar
Doctor: Did you get this scar while you were on the football team?
Patient: No, doctor. I got it when the football team was on me.
Question: What did the gangsters son tell his father when he failed his examination? Answer: Dad, they questioned me for three hours but I did not give in.
Mrinalini: What is the hardest thing to beat?
Saugata: A drum with a hole in it.
Principal: Why did you just cut the portrait of Picasso into three pieces?
Sudeshna: Because I wanted to make a few masterpieces.
Police officer: I will have to charge you a fine of Rs 50 for breaking this window.
Arnav: Okay, but you have to give me change for Rs 500.
Police officer: I dont have the change, so you can break nine more windows.
Rachita: Whats red, full of seeds and looks like half a tomato? Kanishka: The other half of a tomato, of course.
Woman: Yesterday the milk curdled while I was boiling it. What do you have to say about that?
Milkman: My cow must have been eating lemons on the sly.
Man: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Shopkeeper: You certainly do, sir. This is a stationery shop.
Reshmi: What did one lift say to the other?
Parag: I have faced a number of ups and downs in my life.
Telecaller: You will receive a million rupees if your answer to my first question is no. Are you ready?
Raj: Yes, yes!
Address your jokes to: Punch, TeleKIDS, 6 Prafulla Sarkar Street, Calcutta 700001. All entries should be on postcards. Please mention your name, class, school and home address. Or email to: email@example.com