The Telegraph
Sunday , January 17 , 2010
Since 1st March, 1999
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Survival Strategies

I am a 45-year-old man. My wife has a really bad habit of discussing our domestic issues and problems with the neighbours. What should I do to stop her?

Name and address withheld

Nothing. Just sit back and enjoy and ensure you stop wearing torn underwear and socks with holes. If you can solve these two little problems, then to hell with everything else she discusses. Look, let’s be honest. You sound like the person who is lousy in bed; lousy at his job; a hen-pecked dolt and someone who is unhappy with happiness too. So let her wash all your dirty linen in public. At least one of you will be happy.

I am a 27-year-old man. I will be getting married soon. Recently I met up with a chat friend and ended up having sex with her. What should I do now?

Rajen, via e-mail

Why don’t you post some pictures on your website so that we can all have a look? You could also seek Riya Sen’s advice as to what she did when that silly MMS with some Patel lad was doing the rounds. Alternatively, you could disconnect the chat account and get on with your life. Don’t waste your marriage for some silly bout of lust. Once married, you can always enter the chat room as it were but till then focus on the cow you’re going to marry and stick with that.

I am a 40-year-old woman. I am very career-oriented and hence did not get married. I find that I’ve become attracted to a colleague who is 10 years younger to me, and who has been reciprocating my feelings. But I am feeling guilty about this. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

Look Aunty, this is not a blender but a column. I cannot straddle career and sex and marriage all at the same time though it would be fun. Now as far as the twit of your colleague is concerned, I would advise just go for it. At 40, most women only get the crumbs and nothing more, that too aged crumbs. If you are getting someone who is 30, just don’t look a gift-horse in the mouth and do all that you can to keep the fires (in him) burning...      


Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25
Ph: 24191174
E-mail: aakolkata_ig03@
For free help on alcoholism
Timings: 2.00 p.m. to 6 p.m.
Mondays through Saturdays

Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)

Self-help group of recovering addicts
Ph: 9836223071

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free tele helpline for the depressed, distressed or suicidal.
Timings: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Monday through Saturdays

Society for positive atmosphere & related support to hiv/aids (sparsha)

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kana, Calcutta — 700 001
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852/ 6529/9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
Timings: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Mondays through Fridays


38/1, Beltala Road, Calcutta — 700 019. Senior Citizen’s
Emergency Co-ordination Control Room. Ph: 2419 0740

Teenline (cini-yuva)

Telecounseling and one-on-one counselling on sex and sexuality, emotional and career problems.
By appointment only
Ph: 2461 1463
Mondays through Saturdays
(10 a.m. to 5 p.m.)

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