New Delhi, Aug. 5: “M” had no faith in her husband and told Madhumita Shukla as much: “He keeps switching from one woman to another.”
The warning could not have come from a better source, if “M” stands for Madhumani, wife of former minister Amarmani Tripathi, as CBI sources suggest after poring over a diary kept by Madhumita, the poet who was murdered in her Lucknow home.
But it took two slaps and confinement for dancing with a boy to convince Madhumita that she had lost “Victor” — which the CBI sources believe is a reference to Tripathi.
In the 35-page diary, now with the CBI, Madhumita has written: “I was in a Delhi hotel and he was in Sadan (Parliament)… when I insisted, he decided to take me to Greater Kailash (in south Delhi). First he asked me to dance, but I refused because I was feeling shy.
“He told me to have food. Then I thought why not dance with some other boys like other women were doing to get rid of my hesitation. I, too, started dancing with a boy. Upset, he slapped me twice.”
This happened much after Madhumita ignored the warning of “M”.
On November 6 (year not mentioned), Madhumita wrote: “M says that her husband has had many affairs with women, but none of them lasts for more than a year, as he keeps switching from one woman to another. But M doesn’t realise that all the other women have just had relationships with him, they didn’t love him. For me, he is my life.”
Madhumita lost her own life on May 9. Tripathi, a minister in the Mayavati government, resigned after an uproar. The CBI questioned him in Delhi late last week.
Madhumita’s diary that chronicles the relationship’s ups and downs and its unhappy end starts off with her early euphoria. This is evident in the early pages where she says on November 6: “He might have married M but I’m more close to him.”
Close to his wife or not, he was afraid of his wife, Madhumita wrote. “Victor M se bahut darte hain (Victor is scared of M)”.
Her upbeat mood continues in the subsequent entry: “We reached Mumbai, he went to attend a meeting, I kept waiting for him to return... he came at 9.20. I told him let’s sleep, but he insisted that we should go out, we went out and had food. I enjoyed myself.”
Then, page after page charts the downward spiral. She wrote how “Victor” would feel jealous if she even spoke to another man and how he would find new ways to keep away from her.
“Earlier Victor would always come on time whenever I called him. And it would be I who would insist on leaving early, but now he is always in a hurry to push off immediately after meeting me.”
Then, after the slapping in Delhi, her lover saw to it that she was locked up in a house on November 11 (year, place not mentioned). This day on, Madhumita knew “Victor” had gone out of her reach.
The next morning, he told her to leave the house, prompting Madhumita to write: “I don’t know what would happen' I can neither leave nor hang on to him. God, please show me a way out.”
Madhumita wrote that she was unable to understand why her lover was keeping away from her, which made her feel unwanted.
In an incomplete letter addressed to God, she said: “Respected God, socho kitna dukh hota hoga, ki aj tak jise dilo jaan se chahte rahe, ekdam se yeh pata chala ki usne kabhi hame chahaa hi nahin, aur ab sayad peecha chudana chahte hain, yeh takleef bardast karne ki shakti dena (Imagine how much it pains me to realise that the person whom I loved all through never actually loved me and wants to be rid of me. Give me strength to face this pain).
Three pages of the diary that contain a letter Madhumita wrote shows her yearning for her lost love. “Respected Mantriji, I’m sending a few Urdu couplets, which are based on us. Please read it and call me if they remind you of me.”